It’s a brand, spanking new year and the ladies of Smexy Books have decided it’s time to get serious (well, as serious as we like to get around here) and set some goals for 2014.
1. I will read no book that promises “fans of ____ will love this!”
2. I will measure facial hair on all potential new fictional heroes. I need more beards.
3. Any hero living in a cabin in the woods, as a recluse, or otherwise being survival/wilderness man off somewhere immediately gets #1 placement on my to-be-read list.
4. Any hero surviving as a loner in urban environment, keeping to himself with nobody to trust and super troubled/tortured past jumps to #2 on my to-be-read-list.
5. If hero mentioned above (#3 or 4) is also not traditionally handsome, scarred even, everything including feeding my children is dropped and I will read immediately.
6. I will seek out more “angry sex” in my reading.
7. Never again will I read a book where the heroine is described as “sassy”
8. Should a book come across my desk that (surprise!) features a ghost or unexpected paranormal element, I will close and walk away immediately.
9. Seek out romance novels with heroes who remind me of Huck from Scandal.
10. I will do my best to read at least 50% of my current “to-be-read” collection on my kindle.
11. Ok let’s keep this real I’d be happy with 20%
When Mandi asked us to do a resolutions post I wanted to be silly and funny and naughty, but the more I thought about it I realized that that there were some real and important things I could improve upon with my responsibilities on Semxy Books! So, here we go:
1. After reading a book for review, write said review in a reasonable amount of time so that memories and feelings are fresh and turn it in on time. While I read nowhere near the amounts of books as Mandi and Tori-I am still always reading. I finish one and move on to the next. Oftentimes, I’ve read three books before I sit down to write up a review. I’m old…my memory is not what it should be…I need to write when memories are fresh!
2. Take notes “old school” style when reading. For some reason, I fail epically when attempting to use bookmarks or notes on my Kindle. I don’t know why I’m so technically challenged, but there you have it. I love to include a favorite quote as part of my review when appropriate, but half the time I can’t find them.
3. Move out of my comfort zone and finally read some Urban Fantasy. I admit, I mostly stay away from this genre because of the lack of romance and sexy times, but I know I’m missing out on some good stuff. I’ll take any recommendations you all might have for an UF virgin!
4. Along the lines of number 3, I promise to read one Historical Romance in 2014. I cut my teeth on this genre back in the day and for some reason it just doesn’t hold any appeal for me anymore. Again, I know I’m missing out. Every time I read one of Mandi, Tori or May’s reviews on a HR that they especially enjoyed, I remind myself to give it a shot. Well, I will….in 2014.
5. Remember to write my end of week wrap up post. Again, this is a big fail for me. I have not done one in weeks. I make excuses because I don’t have many books to report; but that’s just dumb. I should do it even if I’ve only read one book that week
1. Will seek out books featuring rough, blue-collared heroes who come home after a long day of work and drink beer and have dirty sex. They forget to shave sometimes and have salty sweat on them. They don’t have a lot to say – they grunt and do that chin lift to acknowledge people. They wear jeans real well.
2. Will seek out books featuring heroes who are bearded, live in a remote cabin, have major emotional issues, and wear long-johns. They may cry at times. Especially while pleasuring themselves.
3. Will seek out books featuring awkward virgin heroes.
4. Will seek out books that have present day marriage of convenience.
5. Will seek out books with heroines who are funny and confident. I (like May) refuse to read a book that describes the heroine as ‘sassy’ in the blurb.
6. I want to find a brand new or ‘new to me’ male/male author or just a new m/m series in general that blows me away.
7. Will listen to more audio books.
8. Will continue to stalk Jon Hamm’s beast of a peen.
First off, I’m not really a “resolutions” kind of gal. My instant dislike of authority and rules almost guarantees I will do the opposite of what I list here. I gotta fight the man…even if I am the man I’m fighting against.
That made more sense in my head.
Any who…below are a few resolutions I really would like to stick to this year.
1. Learn to not only say no but mean it.
I reviewed over 400 books in 2013. That does not include re reads and the books I read for my own personal enjoyment. That’s ridiculous. Seriously. It took up a large chunk of my life and I think I need to go for quality over quantity because I read a lot of crap in 2013. Of course, I said the same thing last year and ended up reading more this year. I suck.
I know your asking what this has to do with reading, but I when I read, my arse doesn’t move. I hate to exercise. I would rather perform a root canal on myself with no anesthetic then do anything that requires me to move my arse in repetitive motions. But, since I seem to be hitting that point in my life where gravity now works against me and a tortoise has a higher metabolism then me…I really need to start doing something. So, I have decided to start using books as a reward for moving my arse.
3. Chill on the NAs
Yes, I know NAs are a legit genre and here to stay but O.M.G. can we have some that don’t require prozac, vodka, and therapy after reading? In 2013 I read some that literally gave me vapors. VAPORS! Some depressed me so much I couldn’t read anything else for weeks. I can’t take that kind of pressure anymore.
4. I need to start reading more out of my comfort zone
I tend to gravitate towards humorous or paranormal love stories. While I adore those genres, I feel 2014 should have me reading out of my comfort zone. I was repeatedly told The Book Thief was fantastic and I just brushed it aside, saying it wasn’t my thing. I finally did read it and was blown away. Obviously, my instincts suck and I should not be trusted.
5. No more moody alpha holes (sorry, Jen)
Egads. Save me from the moody wealthy stalker-ish alpha hole whose dark looks and sexual proclivities dissolves the panties of every ingénue virgin in a fifty mile radius. I want more blue collar heroes. More NICE ALPHA HEROES. And that includes Doms. I’m tired of the “I know what’s best for you,” males. Dudes, I know what’s best for me and telling me or anyone that if they loved you they’d do what ever you wanted isn’t love…it’s emotional blackmail and you should be kicked in the junk for even thinking that. I want more heroes and heroines on equal footing.