Raney Moore; lawyer, mother, friend, wife, is trying to understand why her husband cheated on her. This has led to a bittersweet and hilarious look into her own life and choices she has made and feelings she has ignored. The following scene is a conversation between Rainey and her best friend, Sarah. Rainey is describing a one night stand with a younger man and his unexpected kink.
He didn’t respond. He didn’t move. His eyes had a wild look, half terrified, half . . .
He shifted in his seat. Was he anxious? Or . . .
I half-rose so I could see over the top of my desk.
His khakis were bulging.
I sat back down and burst out laughing. I clapped a hand over my mouth.
“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t laugh.”
“Yes, you should!” he said breathlessly. “You should do whatever you want!”
“He did not say that!” Sarah cried.
We were at a club a few days later, where I was telling her the story.
“Oh, but he did.”
A waitress sauntered by. Sarah ordered another drink. “What did you do?”
“What else? I took him to the hotel.”
Where we faced each other at the foot of the bed.
“Are you sure this is okay?” I asked.
“It’s not okay,” Chase said. “That’s why it’s perfect.”
I was so confused. “Just to be clear, you liked it when I bossed you around a few months ago?”
“Loved it,” he declared
“But you acted so put out. So aggrieved.”
“All part of the game,” he said. “Now boss me around.”
“Kiss me.” He did.
We broke apart. I smiled at him. “That was nice.”
“No it wasn’t.”
“But . . .”
He stopped me with a meaningful look.
“That sucked!” I said. “Do it again.” He did.
“May I undress you?” he asked.
“Sure.” I tried to kiss him again, but he pull back.
“Could you maybe be . . . a little more fierce about it?”
Fierce. More fierce. I thought hard.
“Yes, worm?” I said.
He took off my clothes. I reached down to unzip my boots. “I’d love it if you left those on,” he said.
I looked up, making my smile slow and dangerous. “Have you forgotten the magic word?”
“Please,” he whimpered. “Please leave the boots on.”
I ordered him to strip.
Finally, Chase stood before me, head bowed, nearly naked.
Well, I thought, I did tell Cameron I wanted more variety. I tugged at Chase’s boxers. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but who knows? Maybe I’d love it. Though I had no idea how I was going to explain this to Bogard. He’d probably accuse me of—
It was at that point that Chase’s penis vaulted out of his underpants like one of those snakes springing from a can of fake nuts.
I staggered back. “Whoa!”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “You’re just . . . extremely well endowed.”
Understatement of the year. His penis was huge. It was like a thick, veiny sea creature. A fleshy calamity.
Chase shook his head fervently. “I’m tiny.”
“Tell me,” he muttered, “that I’m tiny.”
“You’re puny!” I cried. “You’re a wee, elvish thing!”
He bent his head in shame. Yet his penis seemed to grow even larger.
“Keep being mean,” he whispered.
“I can barely see it!” I shouted. “Where’s my microscope?”
I brushed it lightly with my fingers. I wrapped my hand around it. I wrapped my other hand around it. There was still penis to spare. I felt like a longshoreman, hauling in rope.
“Seriously,” I added, in a lower voice, “I don’t think it’s going to fit.”
He looked up with a smile. “Let’s give it a try.”
Sarah was shaking with laughter. “I think I’m going to pee!”
“He wanted me to do that too,” I said. “I had to draw a line.”
Do This For Me by Eliza Kennedy is currently available for purchase. A perfect summer read.