Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
November 27, 2012
Contemporary Romance
Omnific Publishing

Reviewed by Tori

Favorite Quote: “So I told the guy, there is no way I’m organizing your ‘play room’. You can arrange your own riding crops!”

When Caroline Reynolds agrees to sublet her bosses apartment, she has no idea of the antics her next door neighbor is involved in. Simon Parker is not a “relationship” kind of guy, evident by the harem of women he’s involved with. When Simon’s late night shenanigans finally push Caroline over the edge, she confronts Simon, only to discover that she’d like very much to involve herself in his shenanigans and his heart.

I absolutely love Alice Clayton’s Redhead series, so when asked if I’d like to read this one, I grabbed a copy and ran; cackling like a loon. Wallbanger is aptly titled. A funny, madcap, smexy romantic contemporary that had me reading straight through. Fast pacing and a smooth flowing storyline will keep you in stitches as Wallbanger and Nightie Girl begin the battle of the headboard. Filled with plenty of humor, sarcasm, engaging dialogue, and well developed characters-I didn’t stop laughing till the end.

Caroline, a successful interior designer, seems to have lost her way to the magical ‘O’ after getting mauled by her machine gun style ex lover. She has decided to take some time from dating and focus more on her life and her career. Moving into a new apartment should be exciting, except for the neighbor next door who has a different bed partner every night. After a week of loud giggling, snorting, meowing, spanking, and constant banging against her wall, Caroline has had enough, and goes next door to speak her peace. She never expects the god who opens the door, wrapped only in a low, low slung sheet with voodoo spell casting blue eyes. Regardless, Caroline lays into him, demanding he curtail his activities or at least ‘come’ at a decent hour so she can get some sleep.

Simon Parker, with his dark hair, ripped physique, and gorgeous eyes is a wet dream come true. He is a travel photographer who spends about one week a month at home. He has no time for relationships and instead has three woman whom he dates when he’s available. This works well for all four of them so he is shocked when a beautiful woman in a short pink chiffon nightie knocks on his door then proceeds to call him an inconsiderate arsehole. And so begins the battle of the wills. When her boss holds a party, who should Caroline run into but the ‘Wallbanger’ himself. After some entertaining name calling and bickering, the couple decide to call a truce and from there we watch the relationship shift from frenemies to something neither of them expected.

Caroline and Simon are hilarious in their dialog. Neither give each other a break in the beginning.

“Asshole,” I mouthed to him

”Cockblocker,” he mouthed back, the smirk returning in full force.

As they spend more time with one another, they are like a well rehearsed vaudeville act. Zingers and innuendos flying left and right.

“Oh, my God, that’s so good,” I whimpered, closing my eyes and losing myself to the sensations.

“I knew you’d like it, but I had no idea you’d enjoy it this much,” he whispered, staring at me with rapt attention.

“Stop talking, you’re going to ruin it for me,” I moaned, stretching and feeling myself respond to everything he was giving me.

“Did you want another one?” he offered, raising up on his elbow. “Go ahead, be a bad girl—you deserve it. I know you want it, Caroline,” he teased, leaning closer.

“Okay,” I managed, opening up to him once again. I closed my eyes and heard him fumbling about before putting it in. Sighing as I felt it, I closed my lips around what he offered.

“I’ve never seen a woman who could take so much in one sitting,” he marveled, watching me come undone once more.

“Yes, well, you’ve never met a woman who likes meatballs as much as me,” I moaned

Caroline’s inner monologue delights as she argues and rationalizes with her inner self about wanting Simon. Simon’s promiscuity scares her and she refuses to give in to the attraction, only to become another dent in his wall.

The Giggler had said I was lovely.

She basically told me Simon had told her I was lovely.

Simon thought I was lovely.

Was the Giggler out of the harem?

Was there even a harem left?

What did this mean?

Would I only think in questions now?

And if so, who is Eric Cartman’s father?

The chemistry between Caroline and Simon is HOT! Steamy, panty dropping, hot. I really liked we not only see the physical aspects of their relationship but we also get a wonderful ring side seat to the romance blooming between them. Ms. Clayton takes it slow, allowing them to firmly become friends while amplifying the sexual tension to max levels. I love how Ms. Clayton gives us insight into Simon’s thoughts and feelings towards Caroline even though this is from her point of view. Both of them have legitimate concerns about a future together. Neither of them want to lose the friendship they have built yet the attraction between them is becoming impossible to ignore.

The secondary cast of characters are a delight that will leave you giggling as they try to facilitate a romance between Caroline and Simon. Caroline has two bffs, Mina and Sophie, who have her back in any situation even though they are busy trying to romance a couple boys of their own.

Caroline’s cat, Clive, is the one who steals the whole show. His antics (attacking Simon’s arse when he was “hurting” mommy) and his frantic love for “the one that got away” had me in tears. I really want a Clive. Simon’s harem get in on the act too. My favorite is Purina lady. You’ll have to read to understand, but seriously, it’s priceless.

The ending is funny and heartfelt as we watch Caroline and Simon finally open up to one another and address some of the issues that were holding them both back. We get a small epilogue that assures us that Caroline and Simon have a solid chance at making it and gives us a look at “feeder’s and tall one’s” relationship from Clive’s point of view.

Alice Clayton continues to be a welcome addition to the genre of romantic contemporaries. I wholeheartedly recommend her to everyone who enjoys their couples sexy, funny, romantic, and made of pure unadulterated fun.

Overall Rating: B+

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