Nicholas by Elizabeth Amber
Erotic Paranormal Romance
August 1, 2007
Paperback, 319 Pages
Aphrodisia Kensington
Why I read: Author asked for a review, and I have noticed this cover many times.
Favorite Quote: this second cock ripped from his own flesh. It extended high and hard from his pelvis, and twitched with hunger. Only slightly smaller than the enormous cock already rooted just below in his thatch, it craved relief as much as its twin. (<—people, we are talking double dong delight here!)
Lord Nicholas Satyr grows a second penis every month at the full moon – let’s just get that bit of information out of the way. He must have sex at this time, so with his Elseworld magic, he conjures up a shimmerskin (a pretend lady) and double penetrates her. Once his second penis fulfills itself, it retracts and then we are just back with penis number one.
King Feydon of Elseworld is dying, and on his deathbed tells Nicholas that he has sired three daughters with human mothers, and they are now adults and have no idea what their actual heritage is. He begs Nick and his brothers Lyon and Raine, to seek out these three women, and marry them – to save them so their magic does not alert humans. The Satyr’s protect their sacred land, and will go to any cost to keep it from the watchful eyes of the humans.
Meanwhile, Jane is living a semi-normal life. All appears normal to her family, except she knows she has secrets. She works as a fortune teller, saving money to one day escape with her sister to a secluded place where no one will notice something is different with her. When Nicholas tracks her down and out of the blue asks for marriage, she sees this as an easy escape.
Jane’s mother is gone, and her father is a drunk. Her aunt makes all decisions for her family and eagerly accepts this marriage. Her aunt has motives of her own – evil plans that will soon try to destroy what will become between Jane and Nicholas.
After the marriage, virgin Jane is thrust into the marriage bed – one she finds no pleasure in. Nicholas is taught from an early age, wives are for procreating, mistresses are for everything else. Jane is shy and timid, and confused about her new role. She has a lot to learn about Nicholas, and her secret creates anxiety that she doesn’t know what to do with. Nicholas has secrets of his own – ones she will find out on the next full moon.
Nicholas leaves me disappointed. Being a paranormal book, I honestly could care less about the two wienies or anything else supernatural that sprouts up. Nicholas starts off cold and very detached, and I am all for a hero who doesn’t turn into a bumbling mound of mush overnight. I like that Nicholas remains aloof and very cold around his new wife. In the first dozen or so sexual encounters Jane has with Nick, they are not pleasant for her. She is a virgin coming into the marriage and it really shows. And with what Nick has been taught with how to treat a wife, their sexual encounters are very robotic and stiff. Nicholas knows he can only get Jane with child on the full moon – and he eagerly seeks out women to fulfill his more dirty desires. That is until Jane finds out…she wants to be his only one. Nicholas is willing to try, and he soon learns his wife can more than fill his needs.
During these lessons where Nicholas teaches Jane how to please him in bed, I just didn’t get the attraction. I never felt him warm. I never felt admiration or even love between these two. He is awful to her – this is a romance book, right? Just a little is all I am asking for and instead we get cold and abrasive.
Besides the sex, there is quite an evil villain. One that turned my stomach by her acts and brought a lot of tension to the story. Even though it is fun to giggle at the double penis, I would have enjoyed it much more if I would have felt more of a love story between the hero and heroine. Instead, Nicholas makes me uncomfortable and I did not find romance.
Rating: 2/5
Other Reviews:
Mrs. Giggles
Goodreads
Hey Smex! I agree….if you don't have the romance, you don't have squat.
2 wienies and no satisfaction? So, so sad.
Hi! I agree with you, and the thing I really didn't like is that Jane had to sleep with his other two brothers to be fully protected (?), it just didn't feel right.
"I honestly could care less about the two wienies or anything else supernatural that sprouts up."
Yeah, that was coffee that just came out of my nose. Thanks!
Penny – Yes..very sad ;)
host – Oh, me neither! It definitely didn't feel right and again..didn't come across as romance.
Jane – haha..well…it true! :)
I have three books in this series and I know number 4 is coming in April or May, I bought them because I read really good reviews about them, now I have doubts after reading your review, I need real romance in my books!
Marissa – if you look on Goodreads or Amazon, there are favorable reviews – I actually think this book gets an average of 4 stars on Amz and 3.6ish on goodreads…the romance didn't work for me..but it has worked for others. Check out those reviews too :)
(<—people, we are talking double dong delight here!)
OMG! lol He should be a Doublemint twin! LOLOL!!!! I guess the rating is fitting…two dongs two points! ;op Sorry this one didnt work out for ya!
Honestly I do not get the double thing..thing, how does it work, I mean, nope, can't get it.
And he sounds like an utter ass hole!
I am sorry to hear that it did not work for you Smexy. I remember when I first read Nicholas and soon after the rest of the family. So, it has been a while and many more books since this one.. but from what I recall… I do remember Nicholas being very cold to Jane… but he was practically told this is what he HAD to do. Not that he wanted to do it. He enjoyed the life he had ~ so why mess with a good thing. But it worked for me. And in the books to come… you see/hear/read that they love over came everything. He is a true alpha towards the end. He protects what is his.
Sorry it was not all that for you. But not everyone has to love it, lol…
I just finished this one and I agree with you. I was hard pressed to finish it because of what you pointed out. I have a hard time with main characters that don't act the way I think they should. lol.
I don't care for romances where the hero treats the heroine badly. It happens, to create tension etc. but when it crosses the line into making the reader uncomfortable, then it's gone too far. Sorry this one didn't move you Mandi.
I'm sorry did you say two wee-wees?
I think the two peens would scare me off from the beginning..ahh! I don't like the cold aloof lover so much either but sometimes it works for other people..but really can't stop thinking about the double trouble ;)
I feel the equivalent of an egging coming on because…I love this book. I've read the first 2 and will read onward. They're well written. Hot, but not all that paranormal/fantasy (with the exception of the mythology and the two, um, well you know.)
liladearth@yahoo.com
What would you call that? Polypenility?
And when I read the 2nd peen must fulful itself, I thought, how would he….O_O *cough* never mind.
Interesting premise. Nice, honest review.
Just letting you guys know.. that Ms. Amber is at my place today… if you would like to pose a question to her about the story. Give her a chance to explain.
Just saying….
Hate asshole heroes who treat their innocent wives like crap, even with 2 dongs to double their pleasure.
How can a HEA work between them? bad enough the wifey has to pleasure 2 ding dongs, both the husband and his man tools.
Monroe – hehe
Blodeuedd – The double penis thing works in a paranormal sense..two holes and all. I didn't have a problem with that in particular..more of his attitude throughout the book
Cecile – I get the alpha thing..he definitely had the protector thing going on..but his alpha went overboard and it never turned into love – for me. I've seen many positive reviews though.
Tori – It just didn't appeal to me. I'm sure it works for others :)
FV – Yeah – I get the tension part..but it definitely didn't move me.
Smokin – why yes ma'am, I did.
Heather – haha
Lila – I love to hear all opinions!! The romance just didn't work for me..I don't know – I liked the villain and I think would have liked it much more if I could have just gotten into the love more.
Patti – :)
KB – If you treat her like crap, at least redeem yourself in the end.
I need love in a romance.
It sounds a little too much like she is being forced into bed with Nicholas. It makes me uncomfortable.
And two penis's is a little too strange even for me.
I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing. I don't know how you are all commenting about the two penises with a straight face. I don't think I could have gotten past that and taken any of the book seriously LMAO. I…. I don't know what to say, lololol. Mandi your double dong delight is not helping…. gosh my cheeks hurts.
So I just gotta ask, did he give the heroine a heads-up before the second weinie popped out on the full moon? Cause if my hubby came to bed one night wanting to get it on and suddenly had 2 weinies…I'd be so out of that bed. LOL. And if he did give the heroine a heads-up…that must have been an interesting conversation to read about. 'Yeah, honey, um, well, on the full moon, I um…grow a second dick.' :)
Sorry to hear the book didn't work for you, Mandi. :( I've seen some fab reviews and some okay reviews of the series and have been meaning to get it, because I'm just so curious to see how the author handled certain aspects of the stories.
"this is a romance book, right?" – that's *EXACTLY* what I kept asking myself.
My dear you are the bravest book blogger I know. I bow to your bravery in speaking of the double penis. I would have given him a snarky heroine with a double vagina. Now THAT would have made some interesting reading.
Seriously though–(really) chemistry is everything. If it's not there then it's just words with no emotion, you know? Shock value only lasts for a little bit.
I'm not really surprised this book disappointed you, I have to say. Two penises and he winds up with one innocent virgin? You can tell from the start that's not going to work out.
Ava – Yes..he prepares her..and makes her drink something to make it all go over better.
Danielle – Ooh..I forgot to link to your review! Yeah..not romance..making your wife act they way he did..bleck.
Moonsanity -no chemistry in this one.
Heidenkind..very true :)
Your review made me laugh. I've seen this cover a lot as well, but now, I'll think twice about reading it.
Twice. . . errr… I shouldn't have written that.