The Zero Dog War (Zero Dog Missions #1) by Keith Melton
Urban Fantasy
February 15, 2011
E-Book
Samhain
Reviewed by Tori and Mandi
Tori’s Favorite Quote: “Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”
Mandi’s Favorite Quote: “Rafe,” I said, “get some clothes on.”
“What if my destined mate walks past? She won’t recognize me if I hide the wang.”
Captain Andrea Walker is the fearless leader and frat mom of a hyperactive band of mercenaries named The Zero Dogs. A eclectic band of warriors comprised of a sexually repressed succubus, a gay demon, a decidedly un-empathic empath, a lazy vampire, a wanna be ninja, and a werewolf with a penchant for all things naughty. When The Zero Dogs are contacted by Homeland Security to find and eradicate a rogue necromancer who is using zombies to make gelatin to eventually rule the world, they get more then they bargained for in the form of Captain Jake Sanders. A professional soldier, having Jake on their team is a non negotiable condition to getting the job. The pages sizzle with the force of Andrea’s attraction to Jake but Andrea doesn’t trust him. Too many cooks spoil the soup and she’s not used to sharing her authority or her team. Andrea soon learns she’s going to need all her skills to survive this battle.
Tori: Keith Melton’s The Zero Dog War is a hilarious tongue in cheek satire that pokes fun at the supernatural in fast paced action packed storyline. Told from Andrea’s point of view, the conversation style of writing is a snarky treat filled with hilarious dialogue and some great inner monologue that kept me laughing through out the entire book.
Our characters are well developed and extremely personable as they round out and provide depth to the storyline. Heroes and villains galore all fight the fight to maintain their street creed in this dog eat dog world.
Andrea and Jake make great protagonists. The yen to the yang describes them best. Both highly intelligent and loyal; they are warriors foremost. Andrea is very vocal in protecting her team and good looking or not, she makes no bones about taking Jake out of the picture if he messes with them. We don’t get as in-depth with Jake because this is told from Andrea’s POV. But what we do get is hubba-hubba. And we see, before Andrea, that the war isn’t the only thing on his mind.
Mandi: This book had a couple of moments where I laughed so hard my husband came into the room to make sure I was okay. I follow Keith Melton on Twitter and his tweets always give me a chuckle, so I was very happy that his sense of humor really shines in this book. The characters are just so ridiculous – but endearing and cute. They are the strength of this book. There is action enough, but it’s The Zero Dog team and their nemesis Jeremiah (one of many, many names he goes by – he can’t quite nail down an evil name) that really makes this book stand out. Poor Andrea tries to herd around her team who bicker, who are all slobs, and who give her such a hard time. But they are family and always have each other’s backs. Another highlight of the book for me is all the acronyms Keith Melton uses – probably funnier when read in context so I’ll let you discover them on your own.
The Zero Dog War is a funny book with memorable characters. Very much looking forward to a second installment.
My rating: B
Tori: If your looking for a fast read guaranteed to have you laughing and snorting then look no further the The Zero Dog War. And remember-no sparkly vampires were saved to make this book.
My rating: B+
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I have yet to read Keith Melton and I know, I know I need to change that.
Patti-Keith is filled with a lot of awesomeness. So are his books.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. ^_^
I loved it!
I can't wait to read this one. Keith is great! We are having him on for an Interview at the BookPushers tomorrow, be sure and stop by!!
I snorted twice reading the quotes. Ok, I have to read this one.
Wow, you guys make this one sound great. Must add it to my 'check-it-out' list!
I want to read this book so bad! Between you guys, and what Nat has told me, it's a must-read for me. Love satire.
This looks like something I really need to read. I keep hearing how funny it is and that really surprises me since Keith Melton is such a bore on twitter. *smirk*
Nicole-I lol'd so hard.
Smokinhotbooks-Maybe you should wait to read till after mini kc is born. Don;t want any "accidents". :P
Julie-You won't regret.
Pam-Srsly funny stuff here.
FV-I know, I was amazed this came from him. *giggle*
Lol, sounds great :D
I love books that make you laugh like you are crazy. That was some time ago it happened to me
@FictionVixen
All right, FictionVixen. I laughed at your comment, even though it's sadly true. I usually tweet about lunch and the weather.
Unless I'm drinking Jack Daniels, and then I tweet about how the weather sucks and how hungry I am for lunch and how I ruined my wife's non-stick cookware with a fork, completely by accident.
Good times on Twitter.
*HOWEVER* this does not excuse the fact that you were banned from the JRWard forums for your rampant dare-we-say-stalkerish love of sexay vampires. ;)
ooooh…you brought up the banning
*grabs popcorn*
@Mandi
Remember when FictionVixen created her own special vampire named Phred? Phred, who wore leather and drove a Harley and looked like Dean Winchester with fangs? And she wrote love haiku to him and posted them on twitter.
Yeah, I didn't want to bring it up…but I just did. :D
Mandi, that's my favorite quote too. Loved this. LOVED it.
Fight!! Fight!! Fight!!
Look here Melton, I'm going to excuse your bad author behavior here at Smexy today since it release day and all, but tomorrow I may just have to make a grocery list that details all your short comings as professional twitterista. Or is that twitteristo? Either way, watch your back man.
*muches popcorn* Oh this is getting good. Hey FV – if you still need to pester him tomorrow, I know where he'll be. *evil laugh*
@Fiction Vixen
Thank you for excusing my bad author behavior.
I promise to reform and not spam you with Buy My Book messages on Goodreads, or call your kitten names when you give my book one and a half stars.
I'll also put in a good word for you with Phred. You know, so we can get that restraining order he filed lifted.
However, I refuse to stop tweeting about random and obnoxious (yet completely unfunny) things, because that is why the Universe–in its great wisdom–created Twitter…
…not to mention the Internet.
Having won this argument, I'm off to Like my own Facebook page.
Oh an ally. Thanks Nicole. :)
This isn't over Melton. Not by a long shot.
Great review Tori & Mandi!
Great dual review ladies!