Lady Scandal by Larissa Lyons
Historical Romance
April 7, 2011
E Book
Literary Madness

Reviewed by Tori

Juliet Ashland was forced at a young age into marriage with a much older man who was unable to fulfill his marriage bed obligations or much else. When he passes away she is left holding the bag so to speak on lands and a home that need serious repair. Her father threatens to marry her off again but Juliet has decided this time it will be her choice. So she devises a scandalcious plan. She will advertise and interview applicants for a position to be her husband. Quite boldly she lists all the qualifications this future groom must hold. The most important being rich, educated, and attractive to behold. Juliet’s maid hold the interviews while Juliet hides behind a screen to watch and listen. When interview number 24 arrives, Juliet sees the answer to her prayers. Beautifully built and obviously educated, Juliet wants number 24 to be the one. Now, all she has to do is convince him to convince her that he is the one for her.

Zeus J. Tanner is a self made man who’s only interest is reclaiming his birthright. When he sees the Lady Scandal’s advertisement, he sees a way to get back what was denied to him years ago. After being forced to wait quite awhile to gain an audience with Lady Scandal, he is angered to find himself being forced to answer what he deems are silly and inappropriate questions to a screen. When the lady tells Zeus he needs to ‘disrobe” so that she may see his chest and other ‘manly parts’ he has had quite enough and tells her so. Unless….the lady is willing to engage in a trade of sorts. One article of clothing of his for one of hers.

Lady Scandal starts out as a lighthearted historical that shows one young woman’s interesting solution to an age old problem. Juliet wants to remarry but only on her terms. No unattractive, lazy, poor, or uneducated men. So she advertises for one. I enjoyed watching Juliet think and speak of things that was not previously expected or allowed from her. She and Zeus have an instant chemistry between them which is reflected in their spirited and witty dialogue. Rather like a comedy of errors as Juliet and Zeus begin the courting in most unusual manner.

The mannerisms and speech reflects the time period and left me giggling at times. Especially when Zeus gets frustrated with her names for certain parts of his anatomy.

“Good god will you stop? My male part. My manly projection. My masculine protrusion? So you want to see my cock? If you want to see it, you damn well better be able to say …”

But Juliet doesn’t let Zeus bowl over her. She rise swiftly to the challenge.

“Aye. Your cock. Your pr-prick! Your phallus. Your sword, bayonet, yard, bodkin, dagger, dirk. Your penis. If you want me to say more then I’m afraid I shall disappoint…but I do so still desire to see it.”

Unfortunately, it never goes beyond that. The characters never flesh out beyond superficial and the seduction scene begins to lose it’s wit and air of innocence as the book morphs into a regency version of porn. Even when Juliet and Zeus each reveal important secrets about their true selves, its too little too late. There is one scene where Zeus ‘erupts’ onto a plate of food. I will leave it to your imagination what Juliet does with the food. Needless to say I was slightly nauseated by that. That pretty much killed it for me.

The ending is predictable as Zeus and Juliet find true love amongst their strip tease.

Rating: D

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