If I could be any writer for a day who would I be?

This is one of those weird, forgoing space and time questions that I love to answer but always have trouble answering because there are so many super cool writers out there. I’ve narrowed it down to my top five so far and those authors might say a lot about how weird I am that I might want to be these writers for a day. But, keep in mind that I didn’t say when in their lives—so I could pick whenever, I would assume. Without further ado—my top five:

Suzanna Kayson

Elizabeth Wurtzel

Sommer Marsden

Joan Didion

Richelle Mead

I’m pretty sure you want some reasoning after those across the board, seemingly random picks, huh? Okay, well here’s my seemingly—but actually rather methodical—reasoning.

Ever since I established an odd obsession with mental hospitals and psychosis in about 7^th or 8^th grade (bet you didn’t know that tidbit) Girl, Interrupted has been one of my favorite books. I still re-read it every couple of years because it’s a lyrical portrait of being a woman in a time when every woman was crazy for everything. Some patients did legitimately have a disease, but others, eh, just throw ‘em in with the rest of them and pray them come out in a few years. I have always loved the grace and subtle dignity Kayson uses while portraying her stay in the ward as well as describing every character with perfect detail so that every time I re-read the book the characters leap off the page to greet me. She is a beautiful writer and it’s a wonderful portrait of a point in her life that was pivotal in time period as well as personal discovery.

I’m fascinated by psychological memoirs and I’m a Women’s Studies minor, so Elizabeth Wurtzel just fits. One thing I envy about her the most in her writing, which is why I would love to be her for a day, is her complete and utter passion to go balls to the wall and say whatever she damn well pleases. If people don’t like it, they can suck off. Every book I’ve read to date of hers is filled with fire and life, even during her darkest times as a drug addict. Sure, I don’t always agree with her opinions in Bitch, a super feminist tome of epicness, but I loved reading every page because of her manic excitement to the advancement of women. She is someone I would love to sit down with and pick her brain…or be in her brain because I’m sure there’s no limit to the magical philosophy that falls through her mind. Sometimes reading her is like falling through the rabbit hole…and I’d do it over and over again.

Sommer Marsden, well, explaining this is mildly embarrassing since I think half my writer friends—including myself—worship Sommer from a far, but she is one of my writing role models. The efficiency with which she turns out work and the consistent amazingness of every damn story blows me away. I want to know what makes her tick, how she does everything at warp speed. She is truly kick ass. If you haven’t read any of her work, go forth and understand the magic. She has never churned out a book I didn’t like and every time I turn around it’s like there’s another book just for me! Her voice is a wonderful mix of charming and humor with a kick of occasional self-deprecation and each character comes to life as unique and understandable as someone I passed on the street, bumped into, and had a small exchange with—except they were really, really hot. I would be Sommer for a day because I think she would make millions if she wrote a tell-all book and sold her god-like secrets. And she rocks. The End.

Joan Didion writes non-fiction like no one I’ve ever read before her can or will. She brings the most normal topics into a cool, super intelligent light and then pushes it a little further making your mind stretch to fit every implication and philosophical tug at your brain. I first found her in college reading a book of her essays and now her reading is away for me to expand into thoughts I’d never experience on my own—I’m just not that hard thinking of a person. But her words and her thoughts kick ass.

And last, but not least, Richelle Mead. I would want to be her for a day purely because I’ve never come up against one of her characters that didn’t burrow so deeply into my heart that I didn’t cry for them in at least one of her books. She’s one of the only authors in my long life of reading that has made me cry from page 142 onward through a whole, entire book without pause. Her characterization and their reality grips me and never truly let’s go of me. How does she do it? I want to know! This has happened at least once in every single one of her series. When I was so sick of vampires I vowed I’d never read another vampire book again, Richelle Mead made me see the light with Demetri and Rose, and now I’m hooked. I wish I could fathom how these characters pour off the page…have her whisper her secrets to me.

So, there are my reasons, a good many of them adding together to make the uber robot writer genius of the century. With these five ladies story telling skills I could take over the world! Or, just have a long successful writing career. But I guess I’m stuck with me since I’m not a body snatcher and I imagine going into someone’s body like in Freaky Friday would make me nauseous because I get motion sickness super easy—and I really wouldn’t want to be in Lindsey Lohan’s body right now. Just sayin’.

Elise Hepner has a new release out. Roped Emotions.

Blurb:

Rapunzel is trapped by the harsh, inescapable reality of her prison, so she builds vivid sexual fantasies where she has full control and no one can take it away. If nothing else, at least she has command over her thoughts.

When Prince Samuel climbs into her tower it’s a small, satisfying excuse to break the rules—until his gentle touch coaxes out her trust. But it’s not enough. No longer can she keep her dark, sexual secrets inside. Rapunzel yearns for rough, passionate sex—a way to unlock her sensual freedom for good.

Vulnerable but unable to turn back, Rapunzel leads Prince Samuel on an intimate journey to define their sexual limits while twisting their definitions of control forever.

You can find it: Kindle l ARe l Ellora’s Cave l Nook

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