Last year I wrote my own version of Twas the Night Before Christmas and thought it would be fun to post it again for this Christmas Eve.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! I want to say thank you to Tori, May and Helyce who share their passion of romance books and work so hard for this blog. I also want to say thank you to all the readers who stop by Smexy Books and make me smile.
Next week we’ll be back with our favorites lists of 2011! Until then, Ho, Ho Ho to all my smexy ladies and gents!
Twas The Night Before Smexymas – by Mandi
Twas the night before Smexymas, and all through the house
Everyone was stirring, except for the mouse.
The handcuffs were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that Smexy Claus soon would be there.
The heroines were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of spankings danced in their heads
And Vishous in his leathers, and me in my chaps
Had just settled down for a long winters..ummm.. “nap”
The lustful romance had made such a clatter
Bones burst in to see what was the matter
Onto the bed, I was thrown in a blast
While Vishous and Bones met with a clash.
When, what to my wandering hand should appear
But a smexy sleigh and eight massive reindeer shifters
With a muscled sexy driver, so hairy and quick
I knew in a moment in must be Smexy Nick
Now Adam, now Hawke, now Clay and Derek!
On Garreth! On Vane! On Bran and Erik!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of lube, and St. Smexy Claus too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The strutting and pawing, of each massive hoof
As I drew my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Smexy Claus came with a bound.
He was barely dressed, from his head to his foot
He must have lost his clothes from the ashes and soot
A bundle of sex toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a smut peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes – how they darkened! His dimples how merry!
His (butt)cheeks were like roses, his cock like a cherry!
His sumptuous little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as soft as the snow.
The stump of his ciggy, he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke- it encircled his head like a beast
He had a broad face, and a tight, firm belly,
I wanted to lick him all over all covered in jelly.
He was tall, and strong, a massive young elf,
And I orgasmed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his “head” (you know which one)
Soon gave me to know I have nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled me all up, as he came with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving one last thrust, up my chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his shifters he gave a nod,
And away they all flew, damn he had a hot bod.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
”Happy Smexymas to all, and to all a smutty-night!”
How did I miss this last year? I love it! Hope all of you at Smexybooks have a Merry Christmas!
LMAO!! That was awesome!! I don’t know how I missed it last year either :)
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!! I won’t be back til the 1st week in January. I’m on my way to the Caribbean for a cruise. Talk to ya next year…Be safe!! ((Hugs))
~Selena
Hahaha, totally worthy of a re-post!!!
I did not follow any blogs last year (only started during 2011) so I am so glad you shared that again! LOVE it!
Merry Christmas to all!
This is classic!
Merry Christmas Mandi, May, and Helyce.
You’ve truly missed your calling Mandi! Merry Christmas to all you guys, you always make the day a little brighter!
This is my new favorite Christmas classic. :)
Oh, I’m really glad you re-posted it, especially since I just found Smexy Books this year. I just love your version!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
*clapping* that was awesome!
Merry Christmas ladies!! Thanks for entertaining me all through the year. :)
Merry Christmas, ladies!!! AHAHA, that was certainly smut-ertaining! :)
Love it. Please post it every year for us to enjoy. Happy Holidays.
LOL!. Awesome just awesome
Best Xmas ;) story evah! Totally awesomesauce. Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas
Loved last year, loved it this year.
Thank you for the laughs and Merry Christmas.
Oh man, I loved this post so hard the first time. It’s still pretty kick-ass the 2nd time around!!
I will never be able to read the original without snickering again. Awesome! Merry Christmas to all!