We are happy to have Seleste deLaney at Smexy today to talk about her her August 28 release, Kiss of Death. Take it away, Seleste!
Remy Says: Top Ten Ways to Annoy the Council of Elders
One of Seleste deLaney’s favorite characters ever is Remy (Remus). He’s a brand new cast member of the Blood Kissed series, and she can’t wait for you to get to know him in Kiss of Death. Since it doesn’t come out for a couple days, she thought she’d let you get a little taste of him here.
If you haven’t read the short story prequels that begin the Blood Kissed series, those are available from Decadent Publishing and many other online retailers.
The first novel in the series, Kiss of Death, releases next Tuesday (August 28) from Mundania Press.
Too many years of killer vamps have triggered the curse of the Blood Kissed. They’ve awakened the bloodline that can alter their world, because her blood has the power to control them all—even make them destroy each other.
Jocelyn thought her troubles with vampires were over when she drove a stake through her boyfriend Max’s heart a year ago. Even though she’s engaged to Chad now, she’s never really forgotten him. Now Max is back, and Chad is taking her into the heart of the vamp community—and they’re the ones trying to keep her alive. The ones who love her and each seek to claim her for their own. Because once the elders know who she is, they’re all going to want her… or want her dead.
There’s quite a few new characters in Kiss of Death, but Remy’s going to talk to you about a very important one: the vampire Council of Elders. Remus, you have the floor—or the blog, as it were.
I do so like the floor.
Greetings, you tasty looking bunch. As was mentioned, I want to talk about the Council of Elders. The short version is this: it’s a group of really old vampires who like to pretend they’re in charge of everything. Have a nice day.
Hey! Whoever said “Screw you, Remy,” please meet me after the blog for an attitude adjustment. Trust me that we’ll both leave happier for it. But, the point is taken, you want more than that short answer. And, as Remus of the council, I have a very unique perspective on things. You see, most of the council members don’t like me. I suppose it’s fair since they are stodgy and set in their ways and I’m… me. But the way the by-laws are written they’re stuck with me, so I like to remind them on a regular basis just how frustrated they should be by that fact.
And now, I’m going to teach you the top ten ways to annoy the Council of Elders. (Some of these wouldn’t apply to you since you’d be a supplicant and they wouldn’t have to tolerate your presence, but bear with me and only put your favorites to use.)
10. Look them in the eye when you speak. There are no rules against it, so don’t worry about the “off with her head” bit. They just think everyone should be submissive to them. Don’t let them get away with that unless you’re desperate enough to screw one (in which case, I don’t even want to talk to you.)
9. Sing. The acoustics in the council chamber are phenomenal. If you can choose a song that kind of slaps their faces, even better. Or, best, sing your petition, whatever it is. They think the chambers should be formal and dignified. Pfft.
8. Come in for no reason other than to say hi. Formal and dignified and all business. It’s ridiculous. All work and no play makes Remy a dull boy. Bring some nonsense with you when you come.
7. Speaking of things to bring. Show up with weapons. The more obscure the better. Show up early and set up a guillotine. Or better yet, bring stakes and flaming torches. Then make up some ridiculous excuse like you just wanted to have a barbeque and roast marshmallows.
6. Oh, and snacks. It’s always polite to bring snacks. The council is particularly fond of drug-abusers who haven’t bathed in a month. Present one as a gift like it’s the most precious thing out there. I will personally buy your ass a drink after.
5. Call a special meeting. (This one’s mainly for me as they hate it when I mess with the schedule. Of course, no one bothers to ask my opinion when they do it, so I like to drag everyone out of their bed or coffin or wherever people who like to think they’re Dracula sleep.)
4. Dress flamboyantly. This goes with the singing and the weapons and anything else that isn’t officially sanctioned. The Elders think we should all dress like we’re going to Sunday morning mass. I say, dress like you’re Katy Perry’s stunt double. Or body double. Yeah. Naked is good too.
3. To go along with the nudity, flaunt your youth. They are old, like stupid old, and they act it. When you walk through the door as a human, no matter how old you are, you’re younger than them. Shove it in their faces as much as you can.
2. Talk to me first and mostly. They all think that I should be ignored as much as possible, which is silly for so many reasons. (Not least of which is that I’m fabulous.) But I’m the one who gets stuff done. They’re like a little political puppy pile just tripping over each other and getting nowhere. Trust me, I’m your guy.
And my favorite way to irritate the council is…
1. Call them on their shit. Whether it’s their age, their clothes, their smell… I don’t care what you call them on, just point it out in the most brazen way possible and watch them lose it. Fun times.
That’s it. If you survive the encounter with the Council of Elders after following all my guidelines, I will make sure you have a prime table and all you can drink at Pandora’s Box for the week. Because you, my friend, are going to be my new best friend.
Feel free to ask Remy about the council and Seleste about the book. Both will be poking around, fielding questions.
You can find Remy in the pages of Kiss of Death, and you can find Seleste all over the internet.
Twitter as @Selestedelaney
Thanks Seleste! Today, Seleste is giving away an ebook of Kiss of Death open to everyone. If the winner is from the US, he/she will have the choice of either the book or Vampire Blood Hand Soap. That choice can be made after the winner is announced. Contest open through August 25.