By May.
I am the goldilocks of book smex. Too much, and I’m annoyed. Not enough, and I feel like you’ve cheated me. So the question is – how much book sex is just right?
It really depends on the book. First off, I don’t read erotic fiction, so I am not talking about that genre at all. I’m talking about romance and fiction in general. Lately I went through a phase where it felt like I was reading nothing but books without sex, or with really badly done ‘let me just skim this’ sex. Because this is smexy books, and I always like to talk about smexy things, I thought I’d give my thoughts on the subject of book smex today.
If the romance of the book is not central, if there is a bigger story and the romance is just a part of it and things are moving along rapidly it is quite possible that I’d be ok without a sex scene, or a very minimal one. The same goes for first person narrative in many cases, where I don’t feel like the character would be telling me about his thrusting capacity and exact happenings of their sex lives. The key is that if I didn’t miss it or even realize it wasn’t there – you did well.
Lately I’ve been running across what I call modest historicals. Books that are a straightforward romance where the relationship is never consummated on page, or if it is there is just a line or two at the very end or in the epilogue. In these stories, where the heroine’s every gown is detailed, we know the color of the wallpaper, and it is strictly about the romance – it feels wrong. I feel cheated. In these cases, I feel like the author has done a great disservice to her book. I think the opportunity to show the characters coming together, becoming one, and being fully intimate is something that could have helped the story development. I am all for having your couple wait until marriage or otherwise having them abstain for most of the book, but I expect there to be some passion and heat at some point.
The other end of the scale is the author who relies on smexiness as a crutch. This doesn’t have to be a sex scene either – it could range from relying on exceptional attractiveness as the reason these people are in love, to the couple being so in lust for one another clearly this is why they’re meant to be together, to simply throwing lots of sex at us. This doesn’t sell a book for me, and I see right through it every time. Without reasons to find the relationship believable, and without clear compatibility outside the smexiness, I’m not going to love the book.
Another oddity that I find is when an author breezes right over details, skipping what people are wearing or if it is hot out or what their siblings names are… but then gives us every vivid detail so that we can pick out the heroine’s boobs from a line-up. I do not enjoy a story where it feels like a thin cover, perhaps even an excuse to get to the sex.
From a caress on the shoulder to a first kiss, from getting your freak on up against a brick wall to making out on a sofa the tension and relationship development is what makes the smex. Beyond the physical attraction, it can tell us a lot about the characters, be very emotional, reveal insecurities and strengthen the romance. Used well, it adds to the story and overall reading experience.
For example there is a fantastic (yet brief) angry sex scene that is utterly perfect for Agnes & The Hitman. One of my favorite scenes in Lord of Scoundrels is when Dain is talking to his bride-to-be as she sits on his lap, and he presents her with a stunning engagement ring. After hundreds of pages (and multiple books) in the Fever series, when we finally get to Mac and Barrons getting it on, and they don’t disappoint to say the least.
Perhaps what I’m looking for, more than the sex itself, is memorable sexy moments. Scenes that stick with you and that really add to the story overall as well. Of course – the opposite can happen. I recall quite clearly to this day a book where a man uses an award winning chocolate cream pie as anal lube. I also remember a very sweet small town romance where they end up getting it on in the mud and the heroine is staring at mud, semen, and rain washing down her legs. Yes, too much info exists and I’m also for the record not a fan of mewling, fluids talk, or neverending book smex.
The bottom line for me, is that the level of appropriate smexiness really depends on the story, characters, and overall tone of the book.
What are your favorite smexy moments? Authors who always seem to get things just right? Do you have smexy deal breakers? I’d love to hear!
Fantastic topic, May! I doubt I can explain well my thoughts, so I’ll just summarize by saying I needs some kind of sex in my romance reading. Fade to black, turn the page, the deed is over…HELL NO. I want some sort smex on the page. I don’t need to know length and girth of the male’s peen, or how anybody tastes…but gimme something.
I am with you on gratuitous sex; especially of the anal variety where m/f is concerned (I read a lot of m/m too and I guess I tolerate it better in that genre, because well, um, you know). I’m sorry, but this is something that I will NEVER be okay with. A man can get plenty alpha without anal sex to prove his supreme alpha-ness. No, really, just no.
I think this is why I’ve avoided UF. I can’t deal with no sex, or waiting several books for the consummation of a relationship, no matter how great it is when it finally happens. I’m missing out on a lot of good authors, I know.
you are cheating yourself out of amazing stories!! *sigh* oh Helyce, what am I going to do with you and your smexual needs? (heh heh)
I think the difference for me with anal smex is if the female character requests the action. I’m not talking about pleasing her man by going along, but actively making it clear that it’s about her wants. Not his need to play plug-every-available-hole, which is generally what I call Lora Leigh’s at this point.
Whether it be erotic or non-erotic romances I do like my romances to have smexing but them not having it doesn’t make me necessarily like a book less. Also if the main characters seem to actually have more sex then conversation that is a turn off. Seriously if I have to hunt for dialogue I tend to DNF the book.
I always loved the smexing scenes in Lisa Kleypas’s It Happened One Autumn. I don’t think hero and heroine had sex until half way through or farther in the book but they had a few almost moments before that happened and I think those moments were the best. They showed how completely the heroine effected the normally controlled hero.
I hear good things about Kleypas (re: sex)…
What a great topic. It is hard to define for me what is too much or too little in a romantic novel (sometimes, even with erotica, the sex can be too much) but I know it when I see it. For example, I just finished reading Jennifer Crusie’s Charlie All Night. The hero and heroine, Charlie & Allie, get it on a lot and Allie has noisy orgasms. However, there is not one explicit word or description of a body part but those scenes are sexy as hell! I also experienced the same thing when reading the YA novel Personal Demons by Lisa Desrochers. Every sex scene doesn’t have to be Insert Tab A into Slot B descriptive but it should indicate some type of physical sexiness.
My mileage varies depending on the romantic genre, because when it comes to M/M or erotic romance, I don’t mind if it is graphic. But never ever am I okay with a fade to black unless I’m reading Jane Eyre.
I love the older Jen Crusie novels, and a lot of the 5-10 years ago contemps weren’t super explicit – but they were sexy as hell. I approve of this.
I am also not OK with fade to black. But really explicit, “insert Tab A into Slot B (or C)” stuff doesn’t get me either. It needs to somehow be integrated into the story.
I just finished re-reading “Blue-Eyed Devil” by Kleypas for about the eight hundredth time. The scene where Hardy and Hayden have sex for the first time never gets old for me — at one point she asks if it feels good, and he says something like “It felt good half an hour ago. Fifteen minutes ago it was the best sex I ever had. Now I feel as if I’m in the middle of a heart attack.” It gets me every time. Some kind of mixture of sexiness, plus real human beings talking to each other, plus a truly pivotal moment in the story-line … I don’t know!
*love*
*thud*
now THAT is a good scene. :)
This makes me want to go and re-read that book… immediately!
“Now I feel as if I’m in the middle of a heart attack.”
I’m going to have find that book just for that line.
I do tend to skim sex scenes cos frankly they bore me, or they make me laugh with their silly language and 10 orgasms in a night.
I am known for skimming sex. yep. I haven’t had to skim much lately – but I think it is because I’m running across a LOT of modest books. In my opinion, no matter what happens on the page if I’m skimming I’m bored – and that is never good.
I am completely onboard with the “memorable sex scene”. Stacia Kane’s description of Chess and Terrible’s first two times, the chair scene in Judith Ivory’s “Untie My Heart”, Diana Gabaldon’s wedding night for Jamie and Claire. Lord, Barron’s death and both of their first sex scenes are on my re-read list (both Pri-ya and post Pri-ya).
I love Jennifer Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation, as there’s the first awesome sex scene on the dock, and then there’s the even more awesome sex scene in the bed (when things aren’t really working for the heroine, and the hero not only notices, he adapts). Courtney Milan’s Unraveled has an amazing first time followed by a the couple’s first big fight and misunderstanding, both of which tug the heartstrings.
Victoria Dahl has written a ton of amazing sex scenes, and just as many laugh out loud moments connecting them. From Molly’s pick-up truck moment in Talk Me Down to the burn up the pages hot hook up in The Guy Next Door, I find myself coming back to Dahl’s books again and again.
Of course, even in YA or “fade to black” books, those few details provided can be just as potent as a chapter. Just a few sentences in Melina Marchetta’s Jellicoe Road are seared in my mind (more than enough time for me to both cheer and hope they used birth control), and I remember filling in all the blanks in Ann McCaffrey’s Dragonriders of Pern series when I was younger.
The thing in common between all of these books are fantastic characters, and I think that’s the critical component in creating a “memorable” moment. Even my favorite erotica, Backstage Pass or Unwilling Victim, spent as much time exploring the characters as their positions. It really isn’t just the mechanics or the staging of these scenes that made them potent, but how much I cared about the characters involved.
Really good point (and a lot of great sexy authors mentioned!) here. I agree with you that characters make or break a book – totally!!
Hey, excellent topic!
I say as log as it does not get i the way of the story, bring on my sex- and sensual tension. I can take two epic sex scenes in a 300+ page book- if the sexual/sensual tension is interesting. If I love the hero (think: Hawke Snow, Dimitri and now Jason- Nalini Singh) then there is never too much, I devour the smexy scenes like cocaine candy! It can only be too much if it seems like the characters are just falling into bed out of nowhere. But the bigger the book, the better the sex should be!
Oh Dimitri… there is never enough of him…
You know, Sheena, good point. Really great sexual tension seems to make the sex scenes much more potent.
For me it all depends on how good the story is. If it’s well written with awesome characters then lay on as much smex as you can. I just don’t like it when it’s used in place of actual substance. But I’m not going to lie, there are the occasions when I’m in the mood for something hot, dirty and requires little thought :-)
Yes reading mood definitely matters!!
Great post, and very good for authors to hear this perspective. I agree with everything, especially the ‘fade to black’ leave it to your imagination smex.
Since you mentioned not liking erotic fiction, I’d be interested in hearing your opinion on folks like J.R. Ward and Kresley Cole who present the romance/tension/action to us, but the smex scenes have a decidedly erotic (graphic) quality–and how they relate to your idea of how much is too much. I’ve been told by some that books like these fall into a subcategory of ‘erotic romance’ and that those who don’t like erotica would not like these. I’m not sure I agree with that as I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like some BDB or IAD if they’d read them. Just more food for thought.
Thanks for the read!
Graphic sex pops up randomly in historical, PNR, and romantic suspense too. I don’t consider a book “erotic fiction” just because it has graphic sex if that makes sense. I think there are a LOT of levels of heat.
when it comes to suspense or paranormal romances, often there is such a graphic and gritty detailed look and style that a more explicit level of heat makes sense and works for the story. As I said above – it really depends on the book. JR Ward I’ve really enjoyed some of her books, really disliked others – same with Cole. But it isn’t about the heat level. With them some of the books offer a really great story and intense reading experience – and (for me) some of them were just fails and I was skimming over parts.
I could not get into Sherrilyn Kenyon books. Those I felt like they really belonged in more erotic fiction category because she relied so heavily on the sex (soul saving and otherwise) that I found myself both bored and unimpressed. That is the kind of erotic fiction I’m definitely not interested in reading… where sex plays too big of a role in the story that it takes over and is main element of plot.
*waves* I can say without question I’m not a fan of Ward’s. I read it in class and was forced to finish that. I felt like the straight to it sex with Beth set the tone for the book. It made me feel empty and blank. I didn’t know or care enough about the characters to be interested in their sex lives. I had other issues but on the amount of sex, the book kind of made me go “bleh.” About on par with Feehan. I don’t mind smex – I’m even starting to actively seek it out – but I need to care about the characters.
To me, the sex should enhance the relationship and not just feel like page filler.
I love Kaki Warner’s westerns and they are fade to black. But like you said, if it is written well and fits the story, you don’t even notice. (ok..maybe I noticed A LITTLE!)
But I’m also a huge fan of erotic fiction…so I need both in my life :)
you are a nice, sweet, dirty, nasty girl Mandi. LOL!
I do agree as you know – if story is done really well I shouldn’t notice that anything was missing or overly abundant. I should really just have a great “ah, that book satisfied” feeling.
AKA a book that hits the reading G spot. ;-)
Wow reading these comments calls to mind so many good smexy moments from great authors!
And the whole thread has got me thinking about what’s the difference between the great sex scenes and the “skim til it’s over” scenes…and I think it has to do with how well authors use sex scenes to reveal the inner lives of the lead characters. Or to reinforce what we’ve been learning about them already. Where it goes off the rails for me is when sex scenes are written like an anatomy lesson, or they cross the line to porn (where it’s all about being nailed or nailing someone…bam bam bam) or the lead characters become two completely different people during sex. ugh I really hate that.
Except for m/m, I read all forms of romance and the best, smexist books all harness the sex and intimacy to hook readers into the lead characters, so we can see further into the emotional landscape of these people.
Totally agree what earlier commenters have said about the tension and the writing. I’m re-reading Suzanne Brockmann’s excellent Troubleshooters series at the moment and realised thanks to my Kindle’s progress bar that there’s no smexy scenes in The Unsung Hero until 70% through the book. But I hadn’t noticed it had taken a while – instead, the tension and a few moments where things almost happened (or the characters wanted it to happen) made the book far superior in smexy terms for me than endless OTT scenes.
I think the tension and subtlety – particularly in the suspense genre, when it’s often highly inappropriate for smexy times in the middle of an investigation or mission – are far more effective than characters jumping straight into bed with each other.