10. I thought I’d set the tone of this Top Ten with this card, because after you get through the rest of the list, you will all be ‘Whoreos.’ Trust me.
9. I’m pretty sure we all need to read Shifter’s Destiny this September. Blurb:
Nothing can stop a shape-shifter from fulfilling his legacy…except a beguiling yet forbidden young woman on a quest to save her sister.
There are some boundaries mustangs must never cross—even for true love.
Libby wasn’t looking for anything but escape when she took her little sister and fled the malevolent cult they once called family. When a horse appears to carry them from danger, she sees only a ride—and not the horn set in its forehead.
Josh knows he wants Libby from the moment their eyes meet. Trouble is, his heritage demands that he claim a virgin bride-or else suffer dark consequences. But he can’t turn away from a female in need, either. With “The Community” closing in, the unicorn-shifter will have to summon all of his strength to resist Libby’s allure and protect the sisters from harm. He may be no knight in shining armor, but he’s got the hooves to back up his claim.
You guys – a unicorn shifter must claim a virgin bride or suffer dark consequences. This set up just makes me giddy. Link.
8. We all need a slice of this cake while we read Top Ten every Friday, yes? His chest would have chocolate sprinkles for sure. The site also gives step-by-step instructions on how to decorate. I love the internet. (thanks Book Chick City!)
7. I’ve been seeing commercials a lot lately for Chicago Fire. Firefighters and paramedics. I definitely have to see this when it starts this October. Taylor Kinney, Jesse Spencer and other people that look like they could be sexy and dirty all at the same time.
6. Now we enter into the bulge Olympic portion of the Top Ten. I’m obsessed with the Olympics. First and obviously, these athletes are amazing. Being from Maryland, we are huge Michael Phelps fans. It’s been a really fun week to cheer everyone on. Second and obviously, these boys are all in smokin’ hot shape.
I mentioned to a friend, that I believe my best event at the Olympics would be to spot the best bulges. And for that honor, I would receive The Golden Bulge Medal. I think I shall hand that out to a few lucky athletes today.
First up, diver Tom Daley. I’m going to pretend he didn’t just turn 18 so I’m not a total perv. Now let’s look above at him at one of his events. Did the television crew put the scoreboard where they did on purpose? Because I’m pretty sure #1: He isn’t wearing anything underneath *wink* and #2: He posed because he knew exactly what would be showing on tv. And we aren’t complaining Tom! You win The Silver Bulge Medal from Smexy.
5. Ryan Lochte. Oh Ryan Lochte. Awesome swimmer. Cute smile. Hot body. I think we can all agree on that. But this week, I can’t help but laugh at the other things that have come out about him. First his mom goes on the Today’s Show and says her son prefers one night stands because he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend. Awesome mom.
Then Jezebel comes out with a hilarious article titled, 10 Reasons Why Ryan Lochte is America’s Sexiest Douchebag. *I die of LOL*
And my most favorite, is the video above, ‘Ryan Lochte – Great Swimmer, Terrible Interview.’ And my favorite quote, that we all need to live by:
“Whether it’s life or swimming, always do your best.”
Ryan Lochte, you win the Bronze Bulge Medal.
4. Men’s Water Polo. If I heard those three words this week, I immediately stopped what I was doing and ran to the TV. Need a reason to watch this sport? How about 33 of the best reasons ever. Go HERE.
Now let’s take a moment to look at the best picture ever taken. LOL. What makes this picture is the dude with the yellow ball staring at the other guy. I die of the giggles every time I see this. It’s a winner. They both get the Gold Bulge Medal from Smexy. *claps* (thx Zoe Archer)
3. To top off our award winning coverage of Olympic bulge, The Frisky has 18 of the best bulges you’ll see in London.
Do you agree with #10 now? Are we all a little more of a ‘Whoreo’? Oh..but wait until #2.
2. I stopped watching True Blood a few season ago, but I always have a massive lady boner for Joe Manganiello aka Alcide. And last week, he had one of the best sex scenes I’ve seen on television. This lovely tumblr sets it up in a series of Gifs. It’s NSFW. It’s Lady-Boner-riffic. It’s Gold Bulge Medal worthy.
We are now all officially Whoreos.
1.Are we bulged-out? Over-bulged? In a bulge coma? Did I use the word bulge enough today? Alright my whoreos friends. I hope everyone has a good Friday and a happy weekend!
*gives standing ovation*
*ovaries explode*
Love the lady boner/bulgerfic top 10 this week!!!
As for a winner, sweeden in yellow wins my vote. Oh MY.
He gets my vote too. ;)
I am a true whoreo. Wanna know why? I tried opening up that gif of Joe in animation shop so I could get a close up shot of his bulge and freeze it for you, but can you believe that they have it bleeped out! You don’t notice until you enlarge it *snicker* and see it frame by frame.
Yes I am proud to be a whoreo!
Really? I didn’t know that!!! It is hard to see that bulge…but I assumed it was there. ahahaha. Yes..you’ve earned the title.
thank you thank you thank you for posting the Ryan Lochte video – I am giggling all over again now! *The reason why I love swimming is because racing*
I will be quoting him for a long time to come!!!!! <3
LOL! I am so hiding this from bf.
This isn’t really a BF type of post. bahahaha
#2… THANK YOU! I too have stopped watching but LOVE Joe! I just sent my daughter on a fake errand in the house just so I could see those clips! Thanks!
Good call with the fake errand!
Oh, man, I love this Top Ten.
1) Yikes, Tom Daley…been trying not to look at him. Between him and 19-year-old synchro diver/blond angel Kristian Ipsen, I feel like I should invest in a flashy car and a bag full of lollipops. SHEESH.
2) The Lochte stuff made me hysterical, but God help me, his freckles are my Kryptonite. (True brush with fame story here, for what it’s worth: I went to a swim meet last year–YES, TO OGLE THE MALE NAKES, YES–and who wass the first person I saw coming towards me as he headed to the practice pool? I felt a huge grin spread over my face as “Hiii, Ryan!” slid out of my mouth in the perviest Muppet voice ever. He smiled and said, “Hey!” That’s right, he told ME “Hey!” SUCK IT, HATERS! BTW, he was beautiful in person, though almost my height when he was barefoot and I was in sneakers, but also looked very sunburned to me. Can’t he sweet-talk some of those one-nighter gals into rubbing sunblock over him? Jeez.)
3) Water polo, HELL YES! I say, guys who still look hot with those crappy bonnet things on their heads have some serious mojo going on. The game is like naked hockey…what could be better?
4) I may need that cake pan. That is all.
See, typos too! The Olympic nudity has melted my brain, aggh. (Oh, ESPN Body Issue update: called customer service, got a school-principal-sounding dude this time. Still ordered my annual dose of male sporno, though. Will keep you posted.)
There is so much goodness in this comment!
First of all, how jealous am I that you saw the Nakers that is Ryan Lochte?!? And he said hi to you. Awesome. He needs a woman who will take care of him damn it!!! ;) I love that story – LOL
The bonnets are disturbing..but anything that can be compared to naked hockey is a winner. <3
Yeah, I was pretty stunned to see him first thing…thank God it was so quick, I know I would have said something ridiculous if it had lasted any longer. (My mother’s reaction was classic: “Please tell me you weren’t looking at his crotch when you said hi!” Actually, I wasn’t.) Good thing I’m the nurturing type. :-) I’ve always liked my athletes batsh*t insane…you have to love a man who takes the heat off gossip about his sex life by confessing to WHIZZING IN THE POOL! Ryan needs a career in either politics or PR when he retires, just for our general entertainment.
I guess water polo caps have headphones in ’em…weird, but explains a lot. And naked hockey is something the NHL should try….even the commissioner couldn’t screw THAT up.
Oh, my. Whoreos and lady boners. Woo-hoo! /Vicki Gunvalson
My poor ovaries and other unmentionables have been going into overload with the Olympics. My poor body. But so many pretty, pretty men. Between Scoreboard and Water Polo, it’s like the fiction writes itself.
And I need to read that unicorn book. Because it sounds like a shifter acid trip of Legend.
I love that you gave us a Gunvalson woo hoo! hahaha
My ovaries have exploded so many times, my lady bits are exhausted. It’s hard work to lay on the couch and watch these hot men. ;)
Are you kidding? It’s the middle of hot season and there are even hotter men. I am so Gunvalsoning it for the next couple of days.
You know what’s hotter? Watching the hot men in your bed. My girly boys went ‘SPLODE with the hot men in this competition. I just don’t get to stare at this many abs on a normal basis since I lost HBO.
Pure AWESOME. Thanks for the chuckles…
Ryan Lochte’s interview KILLED me. He’s from Daytona Beach. Not sure if I should cheer or hide.
I am a whoero and proud.
A true whoreo would be on the beach stalking Lochte for us!
Truly awesome Top 10! Loved the Ryan L video – particularly his curly hair. I so want to run my fingers through it. And OMIG, I need to get HBO just so I can watch that True Blood episode and see that smex scene with Joe M. His nekkid-self is so worth the price of HBO alone.
He had some crazy hair a few years ago.
I don’t watch True Blood but I’m totally pulling up that video on On Demand ;)
Bulgedalous! Thanks, Mandi!
Lol, great card :)
hehe!
Oh my Joe…
That about sums it up ;)
Whoreos! NICE!
LOL
your pron is the mens Olympic swim team.
Torn between the Ryan is a douche or the 33 things about water polo as top prize for leaving me slack jawed.
*giggles* – I hope you recover ;)
I have no idea what to say, so I’ll just stare. Wow.
*stares with you*
Fabulous top 10 this week. I love the cake pan and the directions cracked me up: “Using the palm of your hand smooth over the top of the cake and around the sides, using your fingers to gently rub over the body contours” Cake fondling, FTW!
And unicorn shifters! And Ryan being douchey!
But my favorite is the yellow bulge guy. Seriously, he might as well be naked. Sigh.
Yellow bulge dude is mighty, mighty fine.
Cake directions are hilarious. <3!
Wow, Mandi, you outdid yourself this week! Ryan Lochte might be pretty, but that video just says it all! Geesh what a dork! Loved ALL the links and I will be checking them out again later when I don’t have to worry about my kids walking past! Wow!
This isn’t a very kid friendly post ;) LOL
“Hello, my name is Diana-”
“Hi, Diana.” The crowd says cheerfully.
“And I am a Whoreo!”
Applause spreads through the room.
I was doing okay until #2. That one killed it. I have to say, WOOHAAAAA. I may have to start watching True Blood now. You know, after I recover from the massive explosion of my lady bits. :)
*claps*
Welcome Diana – it’s nice to have you as a fellow Whoreo. We have a lot of whoreoing to do! ;)
Yeah – I don’t watch True Blood regularly – thank goodness for Gifs!
Thank you! *sobbing joyfully* It’s good to be among friends.
Umm, brain still on bulges, think I am bookmarking this Top 10 :D.
hahahaha
I think Joe Manganiello earned himself a big raise with that scene
LOLOLOL
Mandi, you did it! This “Trouble is, his heritage demands that he claim a virgin bride-or else suffer dark consequences” caught my attention – how can I stare at some Olympic bulges if my mind keeps going back to that poor unicorn shifter? It makes me wonder who will harm it and how the unicorn puts that horn to work… :P I hope he doesn’t get all Nicholas Satyr on me.
I’m a Whoreo, too. O THE SHAME. No, wait, what I’m talking about? I’m a proud whoreo!
*thinks of poor unicorn until opens the Joe Manganiello link*
*which unicorn?*
*drools*
Unicorn horns, bulges, nakey Alcide – it’s too much for all of us!!!! LOLOL
And don’t mention Nicholas..ahhh!! Not a double peen! ;)
“Unicorn horns, bulges, nakey Alcide – it’s too much for all of us!!!! LOLOL”
Yeah, now I have to watch True Blood. It’s all your fault. LOL And Joe’s. ;)
And that horn… it must hurt :D I don’t envy that heroine.
I’m pretty sure this is the best Smexy’s top ten ever. I can’t decide what I like best… The awesome cake pan or the hand down his pants water polo pic. Best Olympic games picture ever.
LOL…so much to look at. I might have to start following swimming and water polo during the non-olympic season ;)
Oh. My. Alcide. I really need to catch up on True Blood…
Or at least google him! :)