Mandi’s still on vacation so I am your lord and master today.
ACCEPT ME AS YOUR LORD AND MASTER!!
*clears throat* Oops, wrong group.
Sooooooo…. let’s get this party STARTED.
10. J.R. Ward has announced she will post a daily Lovers At Last quotes on Facebook, starting today till it’s release.
First one is Bella and Z.
“Zsadist! Zsaaaaaaaaaaaaadist!”
The scream carried all the way across the glowing blue lawn as, up
at the terrace, a lone figure shot out into the snow at a dead run.
Lots of people shouted back at Bella, but he doubted she heard a
thing.
“Zsaaaaaaaaaadist!”
As she skidded into range, Blay immediately reached for her- (…) (A)nd, oh, God, he was never going to forget the expression on her face— it was more horrific than any war atrocity he’d ever seen, as if she were being flayed alive, sure as her arms and legs were strapped down and pieces of her very flesh were being peeled from her body…
-Lover at Last, pg 152 (edited a little bit)
Woooooooo to the hooooooooo
9. Camel toe seems to be more of a problem then I suspected if this product was needed. According to the Smooth Groove company, “a staggering 55% of women, irrespective of age, size or weight, experience camel toe at some point”?
Yes, a staggering 55%.
0_O
Basically, this polymer flexible cup, which comes in 3 different colors and a pretty satin bag, keeps you from looking like this:
*I have no words*
8. What do you get when you put Roadhouse with Bill Murray?
A funny as hell story that makes watching Roadhouse all that much sweeter.
According to the Popwatch, Bill Murray has a habit of calling Kelly Lynch’s husband, Mitch Glazer, every time Bill watches Roadhouse and a sex scene appears between the young nimble Kelly and the ‘oh so sexy’ Patrick Swayze.
Below is an except from an interview Glazer did with the A.V. Club:
Speaking of Bill Murray, every time Road House is on and he or one of his idiot brothers are watching TV — and they’re always watching TV — one of them calls my husband and says [In a reasonable approximation of Carl Spackler], “Kelly’s having sex with Patrick Swayze right now. They’re doing it. He’s throwing her against the rocks.” [Away from the receiver.] What? Oh, my God. Mitch was just walking out the door to the set, and he said that Bill once called him from Russia.
6. and 7. (TRUST ME…this deserves 2 spots)
Speaking of sexy men. Author and fellow smut provocateur, Jess Haines, brought this to my attention this morning.
Apparently, Turkish oil wrestling is a legit sport.
HAPENIS!!!!
First, you get oiled up.
Then you find a friend.
Get to know your team.
Start wrestling.
Like this.
And this.
WINNER!!
Sometimes, there is a penalty for too many on the field…
But you will alway be respected in the morning.
You can watch it in all it’s wonderful sweaty, oily, grunt-y action packed glory HERE.
We so need a con in Turkey. Just saying.
5. I ADORE Amy Poehler. Adore. Adore. Adore.
Especially for her response to Taylor Swift’s accusing comments she made over Poehler’s and Tina Fey’s joke about her and Michel J. Fox’s son at the 2013 Golden Globes.
“”Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. “
I hope I get a seat right next to her and Fey on the short bus to hell.
4. Only in Florida. Stanley Colorite is a self proclaimed ‘Barbie Man’. His collection takes up over 4 rooms in his FL home.
He has over 2,000 Barbies and 1,ooo Kens and spends over $20,000 a year adding to the collection.
I wonder if he has bearded Ken.
3. SQUEEEEE!!!
Love Gandy? Want Gandy?
Well, here’s your chance.
Spend a day on a Lucky Brand fashion shoot with David Gandy in the USA!
That’s right ladies…Gandy is being ‘auctioned off” on Ebay and the winning bid gets to spend the day with him. You can talk to him, touch him, rub yourself all over him….ZOMG!!
The auction is for Comic Relief-Red Nose Day and 100% of the money goes to the charity.
2. BOOK NEWS
Sylvia Day’s A Dark Kiss of Rapture and Bella Andre’s Candy Store are FREE on Amazon.
Elle Kennedy has a new Out Of Uniform book coming out July 9, 2013.
Hotter Then Ever. No cover picture but there’s a blurb. I LOVE there is a warning.
This book is very dirty. Ménage a trois and man-on-man dirty. Graphic-language and explicit-sex dirty. Basically? Dirty. You’ve been warned.
1. The Penis Song. Need I say more?
Takes a real man to proudly display his Barbie collection.
I’d totally hang out with him if he’d let me play with them.
Totally. I bet he has all the awesome Barbie cars and houses also. I once had a Barbie hot tub. I miss my Barbie hot tub *sniff*
He has a Barbie mansion with REAL RUNNING WATER.
ZOMG
I miss my Barbie car and townhouse.
Those Turkish Oil wrestling pictures- Wow, I might need a smoke now.
“I wonder if he has bearded Ken.” Oh, Tori. Let me count the ways that I adore you….
xoxo
You know who wasn’t surprised at all to see the Turkish Oil Wrestling make this post? This lady. Also: Nom.
I feel bad for all those Barbies. The ratio of two Barbies to one Ken is just sad. More Ken needed! Or maybe Ken’s friends visit, too. I don’t know these things. :D
Yea, like I wouldn’t have posted them. LOL
o, there should always be more Barbies then Kens. Ken is like the awkward first boyfriend who has been regulated to bff status but keeps handing around ’cause he really hopes to hit that again. Even though Barbie has told him a gazillion times it ain’t never ever EVER gonna happen again.
I expect you and Mandi to start a collection for us to win the Gandy auction! We can take tips from the Turkish oilmen on how to prepare Gandy for his photo shoot! My hands are all warm and tingly just thinking about it!
GAAAA, the LAL quote. Zomg, Bella and Z. What’s up with that??? I need to hit the liquor store today. I need some serious spirits to get me through the next 17 days!
Awesome top 10, Tori!
I would die to win Gandy for the day. *happy sigh*
YES MASTER….. OH crap STOP THAT!!! Anyway JR is such a cruel BITCH!!!! One wonders what is in her Red? Green? whatever color room of PAIN!!! Can’t wait but must!
Love Ya (can we be besties???)
Sure. I believe you can never have enough besties, slipper socks, or hot pics of oily guys.
ohhh maybe we can win Gandy and have him do the oil wrestling with the Ken dolls?! No? Okay maybe with just me then…
Nicccccce. ;)
Always happy to hook my fellow ladyfriends out with some Turkish delights. OM NOM NOM. *g*
<3,
-J
Err. Hook up–not out. Freudian slip, there.
<3,
-J
You can hook us out. We are always up for new experiences.
Am I mistaken or does the oil wrestler on top have his hand down the back of the other ones pants?
Good stuff, great top ten Tori!
That’s how they win. By putting their HANDS DOWN EACH OTHERS PANTS!
*swoon*
Lol! So that’s why they respect each other in the morning… We all need to take a field trip to Turkey and witness this oily, man on man goodness first hand.
“That’s how they win. By putting their HANDS DOWN EACH OTHERS PANTS!”
No, no, no. You’ve got it all wrong Tori. That’s why they play. Who cares if they win? heh.
Ah! I want to read the Elle Kennedy book right now!
I hear it is oodles of m/m goodness.
OMG! That camel toe product is hilarious and I feel it would have been of more use in the 80’s. Lol.
The Turkish oil wrestling is AWESOME! I have a friend who is from Turkey, so I need to ask her about this. :D
Thank you for sharing!
Tina. Talk to your friend then come back and tell us EVERYTHING. :)
oil… so much oil… and hands down pants….
wait, what was the rest of the top 10?
A a con in Turkey what a great idea. You can all stay at my house, we can do a “pijama party” every night.