10. Today I turn 35 years old. I’m officially in my mid 30’s. Excuse me a moment while I drink directly from the spout on my wine box to deal with this.
Ok, I’m back. Where was I? Oh right. I’m 35 now. Are 35 year olds allowed to say the words Peen and Moobs? I mean – at 34, sure. I was cocky at 34. (hehe – I said cocky). I wore jeans with sparkles on my butt and drank cute cocktails. But now I’m 35. When I was 34, I shared an intimate moment with Brandon Flowers (from The Killers, my absolute favorite band)
Is there anything left for me at 35??? Moobs is dead. Jon Hamm is pissed we are all talking about his peen. What else is there in life?? *wink*
9. Speaking of Jon Hamm, let’s just start with more discussion of Jon Hamm’s peen. And if you are rolling your eyes at that you can leave right now! *pets his peen* (innocently) (not really) Jon Hamm came out this week to say he is tired of people talking about his peen. WTF Jon Hamm. It has united us. It has brought us hope. When things look dark and scary in your life, you can at least reflect on the glory that is the Hammaconda.
Samantha shared a delightful article from Jezebel with me this week titled, “Ten Questions for Jon Hamm’s penis” I’ll wait for you to go read it. Seriously it made me giggle so much. This about sums it up from the article:
What that means is that you’ve managed to achieve a kind of Holy Grail of penises here: A penis that is huge, but also nonthreatening and friendly. I don’t know if you know this, but that’s not traditionally how huge penises work, you know? A huge penis can be a frightful thing, a brooding thing, an imposing thing. But when a huge but friendly penis comes along like some Clifford the Big Red Dog of penises, that’s a game changer. It really raises the penis bar to a respectable, exciting, but nonetheless reassuring level. So please, forgive us our penis sinning, but this is revolutionary stuff for us.
8. The Rita nominees have been announced and the winners will be announced at the RWA conference this July. Here is the list.
Speaking of conferences, I’m going to my first RT (Romantic TImes) convention May 1st. Who else will be there?
7. Kristen Ashely has released the second cover in her Chaos series, Fire Inside. Book one, Own the Wind, comes out this Tuesday. Tori liked it. Her review is HERE.
6. While at the hair salon this week I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad for a Calvin Klein/Alexander Skarsgaard short film. I even took a picture of the ad so I would remember to look it up.
This got me all excited. So I raced home and looked this up on YouTube. It’s a 10 minute video and it’s pretty boring. The first 3-4 minutes have some intense ASkars moments, but it’s all in sloooooow motion. And there is no ripping off the clothes and showing us his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. WTF?
I also took a picture of Gandy in a cowboy hat at the hair salon. How could I not?
5. Are you tired of living a good, moral life? It’s exhausting, right? Well now we have a guide to live a sinful life.
I finally feel better about turning 35!! I can do something sinful every day. Just by looking at the cover I can tell this book will be awesome. Read the last page first. Take the largest slice of pizza. Drink a $200 wine WITH pizza? I can do this! It’s coming out as a 2014 calendar. Watch out world – ‘Mandi 2014’ is going to be wild and crazy.
I interrupt this top ten for a seventh inning stretch. Ladies….
Ok – Carry on. (Thanks Selena!!!)
4. So I finally watched Duck Dynasty last week for the first time, and I’m so in love. How did it take me this long to discover this show? I MEAN LOOK AT THE BEARDS! And the brothers are SO adorable. And Uncle Si. The hunting and when they skin frogs is kind of gross. But their beards trump all the grossness for sure.
3 I’ve been a big fan of Birch Box for awhile now. It’s a box of make-up and other beauty samples you get in the mail once a month for $10. Recently, my girlfriends got me a subscription to Glossy Box, which is the same thing except the samples are a bit bigger in size. And NOW (yes, I’m not done) Jess introduced me to Ipsy, which is another monthly glam bag. So I had to get that one too. Don’t tell my husband! *shifty eyes* These make-up samples must come into my house in a covert manor.
2. Game of Thrones comes back this Sunday!!! I lurve, lurve this show sooooo much. The Daily Beast did a three minute recap of the previous seasons to catch you up. It’s cute…
1. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Maybe the Easter Bunny will leave you a basket full of smutty goodness. Happy Friday!
Wishing you a very happy birthday and many more moments with Mr. Brandon Flowers. Cheers!
hehe..Thanks Jennifer :)
Oh gosh. I know exactly what you’re going through because I’m turning 35 in a few months. *sigh* The idea of being in my mid-thirties is scary. I thought I would find solace in the ‘Sinful’ book, but I already “eat the biggest slice of pizza & drink $200 of wine”. Ahhh! What’s left for me?! LOL. Maybe they have a ‘Super Sinful’ book :)
Its actually been a great week for Hammaconda shots! I’ve seen a bunch of articles about how much he hates all the talk about his penis. They’ve all included pictures, so of course I’ve read them all. I personally think he should give us what we want. Don’t be so stingy Jon!!!
You’re welcome for the stretch pic :)
I hope you have a wonderful Birthday sweetie! May it be filled with great wine, great people & a Kahl Drogo flashback on Sunday!
Thanks Selena!!
There must be a Super Sinful book – I will look for it ;) ANd if you are drinking $200 wine with pizza we need to hang out!
May the Hammaconda never be caged. Cheers ;)
I didn’t say everyday…but I have been known to reward myself with the good stuff every now & then. But usually, I’m a cheap wine kinda girl ;) My liquor store sends me Christmas cards. No joke, lol. I’m THAT good of a customer.
We should make “May the Hammaconda never be caged” Tee-Shirts!
It was a good Bday week for you…Lover at Last, Hammaconda sightings, GoT premiere…you go girl!
Please never stop writing these :) And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Aries! :)
Thanks Kristi! :)
You can survive 35. I am 36 and have valiantly refused to give up peen, moobs, or cocktails. The world has not ended. (You are safe, youngster.)
I can’t wait to see you again for RT. It’s so soon! You, me, Angela James… it’s a date.
It’s going to be a lot of fun!
Happy Birthday! Thank you for these great posts.
Thanks Michelle!
Thanks for the reminder to do my neck stretches!
And Happy Birthday! Please have an extra slice of cake for me :)
Neck stretches are very important. ;)
Happy Birthday Mandi!
I just turned 39 two weeks ago and I’ve still got peen and moobs in my life. Although I do drink more… But I think that has more to do with the teenagers in my house.
haha…I fear the teenage years. I may have to drink more now just to prepare ;)
Isn’t it great that we can say words like peen and moobs because we’re adults (almost near 40).
OMG I’m almost 40. I need to be held now.
*holds Kate*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Heh. I’m going to be 43 this year (OMG) and I think I have proven we can all remain immature and silly WELL into our 40s.
I’m getting that calendar.
Did you know Duck Dynasty is totally unscripted? That makes me love it even more.
I turned 35 last year and not much changed. I still try to use HAPENIS in a sentence at least once a day. ;)
Happy birthday!!
HaPenis is an essential word! ;)
The fact that you are taking pics of ads from a magazine with your camera phone is just one of the many many reasons I love you. :P Happy Birthday!!!
LOL…I do this often for some reason
Happy Birthday!!!!!! And yes no more moobs or peens for you. When my coworker turned 35 this year she started knitting, so only knitting for you ;)
*hangs head*
*pulls out knitting needles*
Can I knit a willie warmer? ;)
Girl you are slacking now that you are in your mid thirties…in today’s blog, here is the word count….
penis 9
peen 5
When you were 34 I think the numbers were higher…let’s just blame it on the wine.
HAHAHA
ahahaha. Hey – someone has to blog about peens. The day the Top Ten doesn’t use the word Peen is a sad day indeed!
Happy Birthday Mandi! I’m going to be 42 this year and I can honestly say that I get more blunt and raunchy the older I get. :) Wishing you peen, moobs, mustaches, great presents and lots of wine!
woohoo Christine! Thanks :)
Happy Birthday! But, Honey, 35 is nothing.
Please let me share my greatest regrets of youthful ignorance while you still have time to adjust your path: 1) Wish I had loved more and better, and 2) We can never apply facial moisturizer too low. Take it from a woman who is 57 with a neck that’s 82.
I shouldn’t have said 35 is nothing because it’s hitting you in the face right now. But the day that 35 seems like nothing comes rushing up faster than anyone anticipates.
But the neck part stands.
I don’t apply my face lotion to my neck!!! This is good advice :) Thank you Katie!
I echo the neck part. Sunblock, Sunblock, Sunblock!
Happy Birthday to a person who makes so many other people happy with her most excellent book blog!
aww thank Julie
And I’m so on the neck thing now!
Happy birthday!
Thank you!
Happy birthday, Mandi! Be awesome reviewer and kinky Smexy Top Ten peen poster like you were as 34y old. ::hugs, kisses, confetti, male-stripper::
oooh….male stripper? *looks around* ;)
Happy Birthday Mandi! Last month I turned 45 (I have no idea how this happened). However I still have jeans with rips in them, drink cocktails, am going to see Bon Jovi in June and like reading the books on your site. You have years yet. Enjoy!!!!! x
woohoo! I’m SO envious you are going to see Bon Jovi!!!!
Happy Bday.
Enjoy your first convention; am jealous.
And LOVE LOVE LOVE that sexy hairy chested guy. Who is he?
Happy Easter or Passover to one and all.
I don’t know his name..but he is verra nice to look at :)
Happy Birthday!
Girl, I’m 45 and turning 40 was the most liberating thing, I don’t think I’ll look forward to 50 though.
Enjoy 35, it’s a great age to be. Hammaconda …. I nearly choked on my coffee. Luv me some Skarsgard.
hehe..I have to say “hammaconda” at least once a day
Mandi,
The great thing about 35 is you don’t really age anymore. I’m 46 (gasp, how did that happen) and I still feel 35. But then I’m immature for my age…
Immature ladies unite! ;)
Happy birthday, you youngster! :D
Thanks Chris!
Happy Birthday Mandi,
And remember you’re only as old as you feel
Well I feel young darn it! :)
Such a hot pic of Brandon Flowers. I’m so jealous. At 35 you can be just as awesome as you were at 34. In the immortal words of Barney Stinson: “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story.”
Yes, I have that quote memorized, don’t judge me… I thought I would feel bad when I turned 30, so I threw a giant party with whiskey and cigars, and got really drunk. So… what was my point?
Happy birthday!
I.Love.That.Quote!!!!! Thank you for that!
And I love your birthday party. There may have been drinking on my birthday night. I can’t confirm ;)
Happy Birthday Mandi! And don’t stop with what you like now or with those fun Top Ten posts!
Thanks! :)
Yay, Game of Thrones!!!! My DVR is set!
Duck Dynasty is hilarious!
Happy Easter!
SO excited for tonight!!!
Happy belated birthday Mandi. Just remember age is just a number and you’re only as old as you feel. I’m almost 48 (yikes) and thanks to you, I have learned sooo many good words (Hammaconda, moob). Please don’t stop :-).
Thanks Lynn!! And don’t worry – I have no plans to stop talking about various male anatomy ;)
Going over a book order at work (librarian) and came across a book you Duck Dynasty fans may be interested in:
The Duck Commander Family: How Faith, Family, and Ducks Created a Dynasty by Willie and Korie Robertson
Oh awesome!!!
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