Crash by Drew Jordan (Crash #1)
Released: November 2015
Reviewed by Mandi
I don’t even know where to begin. I’m horrified and baffled and just….speechless. What the heck did I just read? No, really???
When I got this review request I was intrigued. First, Drew Jordan is the pen name for Erin McCarthy, and I’ve enjoyed her racing series and some other stuff. I am a sucker for recluse mountain men heroes, and heroes and heroines being trapped in deserted cabins. The blurb interested me:
There is blood. There is pain. And there is him. These are the first things I register when I wake up, the lone survivor in an Alaskan plane crash. He carries me to safety over rough terrain and brings me to his cabin in the woods. He has no name. Or none he will tell me.
As snow creeps across the harsh and isolated landscape, he is my only company. My protector, my caretaker. A fascinating enigma, with mysterious eyes, gentle hands, and a rough voice that demands more from me than I ever expected to give. I make up different stories, different names for him depending on his mood, because I know nothing about him except that he is my only connection to the real world I want to return to. So I work to please him, plotting my escape, yet all while I start to crave him and every touch of his dominating body.
He has saved me from the cold. From death. But in taking me and my body, will he destroy me?
The hero (and I use that word lightly) refuses to tell Laney his name in this book- she makes up names for him throughout. I will call him Creeper, because that is what he is. That actually might be too nice of a name for him. Let me also state that the conclusion (HEA?) will happen in book three. I won’t be reading book two or three – so I’ll never get to experience it but that is totally fine with me.
Creeper finds Laney after her small plane crashes – she was flying to Alaska to meet a childhood friend named Michael that she had recently reconnected with in hopes of marrying him. With the pilot dead, Creeper takes the injured Laney back to his reclusive cabin – with no running water etc. Creeper bandages Laney’s hurt ankle and cleans her up. He is gruff and quiet. Refuses to tell Laney is name or anything about himself. She is attracted to him but unsure if it’s because she is just in shock from almost dying in the crash.
Quickly, lustful thoughts start-up and we learn Creeper likes to be a dominant and use rope etc in sexual play. All fine and dandy. I was happy with his flannel and beard. He said things like – sorry to wake you up, but I have to go chop wood. He was a true mountain man. Even though it was weird they were having sex so soon, I was into it. It was awkward and hot. I was tweeting funny lines and although it wasn’t the best book, I was having fun reading it.
But then it turned to a very bad place. Creeper tells Laney she is his forever – and Laney was unsure about this. Once her ankle healed she thought she’d be on her way, but Creeper informs Laney that she is never to leave. Like in – forever.
“I’m not taking you to town,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I whispered, sorry I’d brought it up. I didn’t want to talk.
“I’m not taking you back ever.” His voice was low, seductive, hypnotic. “I found you, Laney. So I get to keep you.”
And he isn’t kidding. He becomes her captor – and he is 100% serious in keeping her forever.
Although she willingly had sex with him before this, once he starts to keep her as his prisoner, she says no – but he forces her. She soon starts to pretend to want sex so he will not hurt her.
Creeper turns VERY creepy. Laney tries to escape at one point and he grabs her and locks her outside, forcing her to take shelter in the outhouse.
He says things like this:
“You’re so warm,” he murmured, his beard scratching along my cheek. “Smooth. The only time I get to touch soft, warm things is when I’m tending the dogs. Or after I hunt. And they cool so quickly, it’s not the same.”
Although Laney wants to escape, she has very conflicting thoughts. I honestly could not stand either of them. Creeper – because he is literally a psycho and Laney because – she made no sense to me. I think the author was trying to go for “captive falls in love with her captor” but it doesn’t work. Laney’s personality and thought process are so choppy and off kilter. I never could grasp who she really was. It made NO SENSE.
Full disclouse: at the 50% mark I was ready to DNF. I was texting Tori and ranting about the book and decided to save my weekend, I would DNF it and be done. I headed to Goodreads to mark it, and read a spoiler about the end which forced me to continue!! But I did mostly skim the last 30% until I got to the spoiler.
The spoiler – omg – what the hell did I read???
Huh? What? *gouges eyeballs out*
Sorry, but this book is a mess. Extremely unlikable protagonists. I hope they both get eaten by bears.
Kindle (currently free)
Kate L says
Sounds like you need a comfort read STAT to scrub this one from your brain!
I’ve been on a nerd-girl tear recently.
Annabel Monaghan’s A Girl Named Digit
Penny Reid’s 3-parter: Elements of Chemistry
and more Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human
Thank you!! I actually have The Hooker and the Hermit by LH Cosway and Penny Reid up next! :)
I’m a fan of Erin McCarthy but will stay far away from this one. Thank you for the review and best line, “I hope they both get eaten by bears.” I try not to DNF but will do so if I find myself wishing the characters would perish in a fiery crash.
I was actually pretty shocked that this is Erin McCarthy. I have enjoyed her books in the past. This voice as just…..odd.
OMG that was a funny review. Needless to say I won’t be reading that book.
I can’t believe it actually got worse. 0_o
Cathy Pegau says
A friend of mine was dating a guy who liked to hunt (not an unusual thing here in the Great Land ; ). She asked what he liked about it, expecting the answer to be something along the lines of being out in nature, testing his skills, the taste of game meat, that sort of thing.
Nope. He said, in all sincerity, “The killing.”
Needless to say, she broke up with him.
Remind you of this guy?
Yeahhhhh….little off-kilter. (although his hero is wayyyyyyy off-kilter)
haha! Thank you for the funny review! Hope you love Reid and COsway, my favorites.
oh god Mandi! What even is that? Is it marketed as a romance??
I think erotic thriller, although I checked with publicist before reading to make sure there was a HEA (which happens in book 3)
Wait – there are 2 more books and this couple ends up HEA? Wow. Wow.
I guess there’s a market for everything but I’m so not in it for this one.
You need a cupcake!
I do! LOL