Steadfast by Sarina Bowen (True North #2)
Released: July 12, 2016
Contemporary Romance
Self Published

Reviewed by Mandi

Oh Sarina Bowen – you know how to break my heart, fill it with angst and then patch it all back up. You meet Jude in the first book, Bittersweet but this can be read as a stand alone.

Jude became addicted to opiates (pills, heroine) and was able to hide that part of himself from his steady girlfriend, Sophie for a long time.

I used to be so proud of the way I kept my two loves separate from one another – the drugs and the girlfriend. Even when I was snorting an unsustainable quantity of oxy, I was still functional in the garage and still a good lover. What an achiever!

Jude is more of the bad boy, with an alcoholic father and no mother. He works in his father’s auto repair shop and woos Sophie with his flirty charm. They fall in love, much to the dismay of Sophie’s family. Sophie’s father is the chief of police and does not approve of their relationship. Her brother, Gavin, also gets in Jude’s face to make it clear he doesn’t approve – so when Jude crashes his car into a tree, killing the only passenger – Sophie’s brother –  no one understands why Gavin would be in the car to begin with.

Jude’s body was full of drugs, and he gets convicted of vehicular manslaughter and sent to prison for three years. Sophie is devastated over losing her brother and her lover all in one night. She writes and writes to Jude in prison asking why Gavin was in the car and for any explanation, but the letters are all returned unopened. There is no contact between them the entire time Jude is away.

Three years later, Jude is out and needs work. His father is drunk and completely not supportive. Jude ends up on the Shipley farm working there for the summer (you read about this in Bittersweet). But once summer ends, the farm work ends and he heads back to his father and the auto repair shop. This also puts him in the same town as Sophie and they inevitably run into each other.

This book made me feel all the things. First, Jude and his addiction. I think it is presented so well in this book. He is an addict and will be one for the rest of his life. He gets “itches” and goes into very dark places and sometimes drives and looks for dealers. And he suffers. And I loved him because he owns his shit. He owns the fact that he drove a car so high he doesn’t even remember. He owns the fact that he killed someone. He owns it and there are no excuses and he tries to make his life better. The Shipleys (who own the farm) become his stable rock. He goes there once a week for dinner and is loved on.

Making it to that Thursday night each week is his goal. He lives minute by minute and starts to become proud of himself that he isn’t relapsing.

Sophie has always loved Jude, but after her brother died, her home life goes down the drain. Her mother becomes a shell of a human being, barely able to dress herself everyday. Her father lays blame and anger at Sophie, for bringing Jude into their lives. He is a real piece of work and Sophie’s guilt over her mother’s depression and lack of money is the only thing keeping her at home.

I knew he wasn’t going to like what I said next, but I couldn’t stop myself. “I don’t live here for the free rent. I’m here for Mom. She’s a wreck, and you don’t seem to care.”

My father pushed back from the table with violence in his eyes, and I tensed all of my muscles. He picked up the gravy boat and hurled it against the wall, where is shattered into pieces, splashing gravy everywhere.

Holy. Crap.

I think Jude steals the show in this one – his story and presence in this book is so large. But looking back, Sophie is such a strong character as well. She wants to learn the truth about that night before laying blame on anyone. She wants to understand addiction and she wants to envision a future where her and Jude can be together, happy in love, a future that looks very bleak due to their circumstances. Her love for Jude is absolute throughout.

How on earth did people move on? The times I’d had with Jude were just too hot to fade from my memory. When I was a hundred and five, I’d still be able to recall losing my virginity to him. I could be blind and deaf and shriveled up like a raisin, and get wet and horny just remembering the way he whispered in my ear after sliding into me for the first time. “Now you’re really mine.”

Steadfast is a somber book, but also a book of hope and love with a strong and sexy romance.

He got the rest of my clothes off finally. Then we were skin to skin, Jude lying on top of me. We were staring into each other’s eyes, and I wanted to die of happiness. I let my hands wander up this thickly muscled arms to his big shoulders. “You got so big in prison,” I gasped.

His next kiss had him chuckling into my mouth. “That sounds really badass , Soph. But I got big lifting bushel crates of apples at the Shipleys'”

I tightened my legs around his waist. “Do me, farm boy.”

Grade: B+

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