Review: How to Impress a Marquess by Susanna Ives

Series: Wicked Little Secrets, #3
Historical Romance
Released: November 1, 2016
Sourcebooks Casablanca

Reviewed by Sheena

TAKE ONE MARQUESS: Proper, put-upon, dependable, but concealing a sensitive artist’s soul.
ADD ONE BOHEMIAN LADY: Creative, boisterous, unruly, but secretly yearning for a steadfast love, home, and family.
STIR in a sensational serialized story that has society ravenous for each installment.
COMBINE with ambitious guests at an ill-fated house party hosted by a treacherous dowager possessing a poison tongue.

Favorite Quote: “I believe all true pleasure, is bad at its core, I’m philosophical that way”

I hate these non descriptive, empty, cotton candy silly blurbs that seem to be trendy.   Like any other bad fad, I want them gone, gone, gone! So much so, that unless a tried and true author I really like has a lapse in sanity and uses this sort of ridiculous blurb, I don’t even bother reading the book. I was ready to roll my eyes for the umpteenth time, after reading this non-blurb until the promise of a house party caught my eye. I love historical romances and some of the best scenes I’ve had the pleasure to read have been set against the backdrop of a hilariously written house party, the ton and anti-ton in full regalia and effect.

Next time, I’ll do well to follow my instincts.  Not only did How to Impress a Marquess fail to impress over all (cue irony) but it didn’t even deliver on my pinned hopes and dreams of another fantastically entertaining house party.

George is the Marquess of Marleywick head of his family and responsible for his ward, Lilith, a young bohemian type, blossoming into her own young womanhood, full of mirth and free-spirited vigor.  George pales in comparison, older, more of a stooge and buttoned up royal type, who is often unimpressed by the antics and livery that has taken hold of the times.  Save for his one indulgence…his hidden appreciation for art and Victorian Era- chick lit.

Lilith and George are obvious, troupe approved, polar opposites, George quite comfortable atop his traditional high horse and Lilith delighted to muddle about with her artistic cohorts, discussing the latest in music and literature…writings that include a most hotly contested serial, Colette and the Sultan.

The latest chapter in author Ellis Belfort’s serial had been wagging on everyone’s tongue that evening.  How would Colette escape her evil pursuer, the Sultan Murada?  The story had set London society ablaze, but George had been enthralled with Colette from the very first installment.  In a sense, he felt her story was his for having discovered it before everyone else…

Dear George was enraptured with his fictional Colette to say the least.  Thoughts of her and her misadventures drove him to distraction, in which cases another beauty – a flesh and blood young lady would snap his attention in most unwanted ways.  George fantasized about the alluring Colette, only to be tormented by a real life nymph of his very own.  A young woman who had her own secret, one that brought him closer to his fictional muse than he could ever suspect…a lady most unsuitable for him in every obvious way Lilith, his ward of course.  What else is there to do  but marry off such a dangerously sweet temptation.

Whenever Lilith appeared, George had the sensation of walking from a pitch-black room into the piercing sunshine…that tiny vein running over his temple began to throb,  as did another part of his body.

Lilith and George’s romance felt meandering and pointless.  I did not root for them, I did not like much about either of them. Both I found to be mean-spirited and spoiled in a way that was off-putting.  When George tries to kiss her, and then decides he best get rid of her and quick- I did not bat a lash.  When it became clear their ardor was mutual, there was no swoon.  I experienced a huge disconnect between these characters and myself.  The only real enjoyment I gleaned from the novel was the descriptive and rather clever writing that went on in-between.  The causal conversations of supporting characters overshadowed Lilith and George, so much so that I rather enjoyed when they took a back seat in their own story.  Much of the plot is George rescuing Lilith from scandal and trying to bully her into marriage with a man who will control her and her finances, freeing him of her grip once and for all. They fall for one another and continue to get in one another’s way, even when a successful seduction leads to engagement, love is not assured, less than it is seemingly brokered…and sorry, but this sort of sentiment 82% into the novel grates on my very soul.  Especially when I am privy to both of their thoughts and know that they hold one another in but the highest of regards.  When they finally got on one accord, they shared some pretty steamy sex, but sultry as it was (and it was) without ever really becoming a likable pair, the sex was just sex for goodness-sake.

“Would you marry me then?” He pressed deep into her, using pleasure to weaken her resistance.

“This isn’t fair how you’re asking me,” she cried.  He altered his tactics, trying to cut closer to her heart.  “You said that all you wanted from a husband was kindness and loyalty and a home.  I will give you all. I promise that you will never be lost and wandering again. ”

Tears wet her eyes.  “But you don’t love me as I love you.  You need to love whom you marry.  You need to love and be loved.  You need it so much.”

He knew if he uttered them [I love you] he would relinquish his control over her. And himself.

“Say yes,” he urged, moving inside her.

“Be my wife and I will draw for you, I will be a loyal husband.”

The words he couldn’t say, the fear and ecstasy  that pulled him apart, he put it all into his sex, letting her take it away as her thighs quaked in climax and he released deep inside her.

Afterwards, she laid her head on his chest…she remained quiet, but she tightened her clasp on him. What was she thinking?

I can’t say what she was thinking, but I sure know what I was thinking.  Abandon ship! But alas, the writing itself was not as off putting and George’s family was interesting, even if he wasn’t and dammit, I was in too deep to leave this party without an HEA. So like Lilith, I stuck it out till the end.

How to Impress a Marquess is book three in its series, and stood alone just fine.  Secondary characters were colorful and kept me alive, however, I do not believe I will see what other wicked secrets are coming down the pipeline.  Maybe if the next book has a legitimate summary blurb and the consensus is the H/h are not as cardboard and unbecoming as George and Lilith proved to be.  Maybe.

Grade C-

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