Mister McHottie by Pippa Grant
Released: October 30, 2017
Reviewed by Mandi
I love a well done romantic comedy once in a while. This one is ridiculously fun, cute and sexy. Pippa Grant is a “new to me” author – I have no idea if it’s a pen name for another author or what, but I am here for allllll of her books. As my blog partner, Kini, pointed out – she is like Alice Clayton, but a little more sexy, and less crude than Helena Hunting. So we have sexy, and funny – with a million insults and pranks and it all worked for me.
Ambrosia (nicknamed “Bro” if you see that in a quote) and Chase grew up together in Minnesota. Ambrosia has two older brothers who were best friends with Chase and they got into a lot of trouble together. But it was Chase and Ambrosia who really connected – in a very immature way. They would constantly prank each other and try to out-do one another growing up. They went above and beyond normal pranking and always ended up in trouble together. But one night it went too far. Their jesting with each other, turned into being naked and having sex…but inside a Bratwurst Wagon during their town’s baloney festival….
“He took my virginity on the floor between the cabinets where they store the buns and the fridge where they keep the sausages. And then the cops showed up, and he told me to drive and he ran like a lily-livered dog turd, and I got arrested for stealing a giant bratwurst on wheels while he got to be a billionaire.”
Ambrosia was arrested and spent three nights in jail, and lost her admission to Vassar College. This devastated her and caused a rift between Chase and Ambrosia that was never mended.
In present day, Ambrosia is the social media manager for an organic grocery store called Crunchy. One of the biggest ones in New York, she loves her job and has an amazing set of girlfriends (this is a big highlight in the book). Her professional bliss is suddenly washed away when Crunchy sells to a new owner…a billionsiare owner, with the name of Chase.
That’s right. Chase grew up and made an online game that made him lots of money. After some tech investments went crazy, he has found himself to be a billionaire. He wants to own Crunchy and make the delicious, organic food available to all income levels…he just has to work with the woman who drives him insane with lust and frustration.
First let me say, the girlfriend group in this book is fantastic. Ambrosia has three really good friends and they are funny, and supportive, and just – the best. They put glitter bombs in Chases’s office so he has glitter butt the next day. They play together in a boy band cover band – omg! They go on stage and play N’Sync and stuff and I want to be in their girl group.
The grocery story, Crunchy, is also well presented in this book. The author didn’t just slap a profession onto the heroine. We learn about Bok Choy fun and all the crazy marketing ideas that come out of Ambrosia’s department. I loved it.
And then we meet Chase.
Six feet of pure sin stands wide-legged in the doorway. His smile is a lie, his smoky blue eyes a portal to self-destruction, the dimple in his chin twice the size needed to store what’s left of his conscience.
Ambrosia is horrified and totally pissed that Chase is now her boss. She feels like he made her take 100% of the blame for the Bratwurst Wagon incident, and that ruined her college chances. And now he strolls into her work place, a billionaire, and her boss. She is not happy.
Number One Dick on my Dick List. He’s the reason I tell people I’m from Pittsburgh. I hope when they put him up at Madame Tussaud’s, they use ear wax. I hope when he goes on Naked and Afraid, they release him in the wilds of Minnesota and someone replaces his insect repellent with pig’s blood.
For the rest of the book, Ambrosia and Chase fall into their old ways, pranking each other and trying hard to deny the lust they have for one another.
I back her into the corner, my dick doing all the talking. “You want my long, thick cock, and you know it.”
“I want to break it in two and feed it to maggots.”
“You want to bite it. And suck on it. And ride it.”
“I fucking hate you.”
I fucking hate her too, but I have a fistful of her hair, and I’m suddenly doing the only thing I know to do to shut her the fuck up.
I’m shoving my tongue down her throat. As far a it’ll go. Gliding into that hot, wet, silky mouth where my joystick wants to be.
She sinks her nails into my ass and yanks me tighter against her, matching e thrust for thrust with her lizard tongue while she grunts incoherent insults.
And even though they start this passionate affair, the insults are never far behind.
“I didn’t come,” she lies. “That was my body recoiling in horror, and you get a two-point-one on a scale of zero to one hundred.”
I chuckle. “We both know better, Bro. Now suck my dick.”
“Suck your own dick.”
The final highlight of this book are Ambrosia’s two brothers, Ares and Zeus. They are both HUGE men, portrayed to be a little cave-manish, both professional hockey players, both former best friends of Chase, and extremely protective of their sister. I LOVE THEM.
I’m in the middle of interviewing Tina, the world’s perkiest woman, for a position in sales management when I hear a commotion break out in the lobby. My door flings open. “Gentleman, you can’t just go in there,” my admin assistant says as thirteen-plus feet and seven hundred pounds of Viking hockey players get stuck battling each other to get through my door first.
“They’re harmless,” I tell Tina.
I hope I’m not lying.
“Oh my god, it’s the Brute and the Force,” she whispers reverently.
Zeus wins the battle of the doorway and strolls in first. He whips out a Sharpie, signs Tina’s head, and then scrawls his name across my desk before doing a mic-drop with the marker. “We need to talk.”
Ares adds his signature to Tina’s left arm and eyeballs the front of my desk in a way that makes me think he’s using X-ray vision to locate my crotch.
To sign it or turn it into ground meatballs is anybody’s guess.
Eventually Chase and Ambrosia’s silly insults and lust-filled elevator rides, turn into a more serious romance. There are genuine smiles and conversations. But don’t worry – still insults and a lot of humping.
A really fun read. Big thanks to @Elisabethjlane who tweeted a recommendation for this book. Book two is out (Ambrosia’s friend Parker gets her HEA) and book three comes out in a few weeks – and it’s Zeus’s book! Hoooooray!