Happy Saturday! I love weekends when I can relax, unwind and disappear into one of my many fictional escapes. I’m dedicating today to all of my snarky heroines out there who have given me hours of pleasure and the sorest of sides from laughter. One of my all time fav heroines who delivers her snark and her sex with vigor- Chicagoland’s, Merit!

Merit was a coed, targeted and marked for death, and saved by the bite of a Master Vampire, Ethan.

Oh, baby, Ethan. I love you LONG time! Hands down, Ethan is one of my oldest and most lost lasting book boyfriends of the paranormal variety. He definitely does NOT disappoint!

“You undo me, Merit. Wholly and completely. You don’t take me at my word. You challenge me at every opportunity. And that means when I’m with you, I am less than the head of this House…and I am more than the head of this House. I am a man.” He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. “In my very, very long life, I need you more than I have ever needed anything.” 

Stop distracting me Ethan! *shivers!* This is about series star Merit, who is my vampiress hero. She’s smart, ambitious, athletic, funny and fiercely loyal. She’s also the snarkiest fiction chick to ever make me nearly bust a gut.

Today, I honor Merit and bring you her snarkiest moments:

“Do you understand what I’m offering you?”
“Do you understand that it’s not 1815?”
“It’s not unusual for Masters to have Consorts.”
“Yes, and your current Consort’s in my kitchen right now. If you need . . . relieving, talk to her.”
“As much as it pains me to say it, Amber isn’t you.”
“I don’t even know what that means. Should I—What? Be flattered that while you don’t like me, you’re willing to sacrifice just to get into my pants?” 

“And so it began, I thought, the first wave of a revolution against oppression, fought with corn syrup and chocolate.” 

“People hate us, blah blah blah, wish we’d go straight to hell, or maybe Wisconsin, since it’s closer, blah blah blah.”

“Sullivan, just pick it up.”
“My way is more genteel.”
“Your way is more tight ass.”
“Your respect for me, Sentinel, is astounding.”
“I’d respect you more if you took a bite of that dog.”
“You don’t respect me any.”
“Like I said, I’d respect you more. More than none.”

“Merit: “I am yours until you ban bacon, or otherwise as long as I can put up with you.” 

“My first few weeks as a vampire had been inordinately busy. Like The Young and the Restless, but with slightly dead people.”

“I was impressed that she looked so good on so little sleep. I’d have looked like a plague victim on a bad hair day.” 

“And that’s why we’re sending Boobs McGee.”
I slowly swiveled my head to glare at Catcher. “Seriously. You’re, what, twelve now?”
***
“Then I guess that settles that,” I agreed. “My boobs and I will go.”

“It’s either food or blood, Ethan.And given thats it’s just me and you in this car right now, food would be considerably less complicated, don’t you think?” 

“He was an imperialistic, self-righteous pain in the ass. But he was my pain in the ass, you know? And tonight, I won’t be with him. That definitely feels strange.” 

“But I’ll admit that he’s kind of offensively delicious” 
“Like salt and vinegar potato chips” 
“Exactly” 

The Chicagoland series by Chloe Neil is more urban fiction than paranormal romance, but it is so damn addictive, the lighter romance aspect didn’t deter or distract from it one bit- and I am a girl who wants my smex freaky and frequent! Trust me, if you are a fan of Urban Fiction and haven’t discovered Chicagoland (dude!!!) check it out, it is absolutely hilarious and cracky fun to read. The world building is impeccable and so inviting you won’t ever want to leave. If you lean more toward paranormal romance, check it out, these novels are so good, you legit won’t have the capacity to care that they are not as romance driven as pnr. Legit!!

This series is amazing. With 1.5 exception, (I’m glaring at you Hard Bitten and eyeballing you, Drink Deep) it is absolutely impeccable. Amazing story arcs, wild adventure, the deeply adversarial turned loving bond between Merit and Ethan- ugh, amazing folks and one of the best!

I’m doing a nostalgia re-read of the series this week, join me if you are up to it, and if anything here sparked an interest to check out Chicagoland and see what you’ve been missing, jump right in with book one, Some Girls Bite!