Big Gay Wedding by Byron Lane
LGBTQ+
May 30, 2023 by Henry Holt and Co.
Review by Kate H.
Big Gay Wedding is like a romance novel that starts at the epilogue. Instead of the meet cute, the inciting action, turning point, and so on, we jump to right after the proposal. The focus of the story moves around almost the entire wedding party: the grooms, the moms, the grandfather and the sheep. Yes, the sheep. And when I say it moves around, I really mean it. This book is written with an omniscient narrator that knows the thoughts and feelings of almost everyone involved in this rural Louisiana wedding. It’s written not in the weighty style of Anna Karenina, but with a sort of swooping and sometimes bitey humor that makes you both empathize, scorn and snort-chortle at the same time. I am not the best audience for humorous books, but I really enjoyed this book and I think I can thank the original and acerbic writing for that.
Barnett Durang comes home to tell his mother that he’s getting married. But before he even enters the scene, we are introduced to his mom, Chrissy Durang or “Farmer Mom.” A widow, she exerts tight control of her bright blue farm of rescued animals, called “The Polite Society Ranch.” Schoolchildren visit on carefully orchestrated visits and Chrissy tries to keep everything in order with her lists and schedules. Children who throw tantrums are a reality she tries to bribe away with a $5 bill.
When Barnett arrives from California and lets her know that he’s getting married to his boyfriend of three years, we learn that although Barnett came out to his parents some time ago, Chrissy has been avoiding that reality for years. She is caught up in what others think – the townspeople, her pastor, even her late husband, who she believes was slowly killed by the revelation that their son is gay. In fact, she is so delusional and avoidant, that she thinks Barnett is returning home to take over the farm.
Barnett’s visit is a little bit of a set-up. He’s got his grandfather on his side, and his fiancé, Ezra is poised and ready to fly out from California to meet his mom. Next thing we know it, Ezra’s family has arrived, and we are barreling toward a country wedding on the farm. It’s evidently the push Chrissy needed – and we get to tumble with her through a series of revelations about her life and the people around her. They didn’t always add up to me, and I wasn’t ready to completely forgive her, but it’s clear that it was more than Barnett expected.
My favorite part of the book is the “pro” and “con” list Chrissy keeps in her back pocket about Ezra starting from his arrival on the farm. As she observes him, she adds new characteristics. We see how she can take anything and twist it into negative – “smiles too much” for example – but also through the list, we see how hard it becomes for her to hold onto her scorn and stereotypes.
Grade: A-
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