Earlier today I reviewed Carolyn Crane’s latest, Off the Edge (I loved it). Today, Carolyn is stopping by Smexy with a very amusing story….
My day as the neighborhood psycho!
Do you read the torn scraps of paper that you find laying on the sidewalk or street? I always do, especially if I see handwriting on them. I’m nosy that way. Maybe that’s bad, I don’t know!
So anyway, a few weeks back – this was before it got all snowy here – Mr. Crane comes in the door looking alarmed, clutching a bunch of familiar-looking papers. He says, “Carolyn! Your running notes are all over on the sidewalk. They’re blowing all over the neighborhood!”
And I’m like, “What?” And then, “OMFG.”
I took pics of a few of them, below These are just a few of many, many dozens of notes connected with my novel that I had put in recycling the day before. Awesome Mr. Crane had collected as many as he could, but it was pretty windy.
My handwriting really isn’t that shitty – these are the pieces of paper I take out running so that I can jot things down while on the move. Because I get a lot of ideas running, and I was sick of forgetting them. Usually when I’m writing these, I’ve slowed to a fast walk.
Somebody or something must have dug through the recycling, scattering the stuff. This is a somewhat populated area with houses, restaurants, and condos, and a lot of people walk around on this street.
And these notes, when you read them out of context, are TOTALLY PSYCHO!
I was trying to think, what would I think if I found a note like this? Like with the crazy scrawl handwriting?
Partial transcription: I don’t hate them—I love them too much. I’ll go to the edge with you. I don’t care. With you it’s worth it. I didn’t want to go to the edge b4. I didn’t want to feel things anymore. But it’s okay if I’m with you. Need to fuck on floor. I don’t want to leave you.
This is from when I was writing Off the Edge, a sort of idea I had for my secret agent’s attitude toward the heroine. I totally don’t remember what or who the “them” was. As you see, I was cleverly working in the title!
I don’t know about you, but I might be slightly alarmed finding this on the sidewalk in front of my building. I feel a little bit bad about these blowing around.
Partial transcription: He kills a man long hates. Kiss me. Yanks her down by hair. Man calls from stairs. I’m done killing for you dammit. A lie. A lot of people everywhere are going to die.
I actually have no idea how this related to Off the Edge—most times, these notes refer to the scenes I worked on that day, and they only make sense in the flow, that’s why they’re so cryptic. Every sentence might refer to a different area of that day’s work, or be an idea for the next day.
Well, this is definitely the most freaking psychotic one that was out there. It’s creepy things imagined by my villain.
A partial transcription: If she doesn’t yield to me, I will knock her teeth out with hammer. Trick I learned in prison. If only she would yield to me but too much to hope. Angry opened legs for another man. Anders in disguise. Anders waits in lobby. Only time he hit her when he had to. Emmaline needs equal and opposite force. He is chained up in cage in basement. Sex in cage. You want to fuck me b/c you don’t see me, don’t see me as a monster.
I’m really glad Mr. Crane found this one because, it really could alarm somebody! I think this might have the been the worst one. I hope….
I remember this run when I was writing this creepy villain one, because I hadn’t been getting into his head at all, and then I got this flash of insight that he loved the heroine in a twisted way, and desperately wanted her to return that love, and was easily hurt, and when hurt, would turn dark.
The sex in cage part is about my secret agent. He’s held captive, shirtless and sweaty in a cell in the basement of this Bangkok hotel, and the heroine goes down and visits him and they almost have sex.
More deranged screeds from the neighborhood psycho. Hai! Mr. Crane works two blocks away and I think he must have been collecting these notes all the way home.
I’d think twice b/4 fucking with her. She’s your squeeze. She’s my whatever I want. I’m running the show last I checked. Yours to fuck or yours to kill? N – this is awesome. I want to date all of you guys.
Anyway, this is from the book I’m now writing, about Thorne. Doesn’t this bit make you want to read it? LOL. Actually, I really like this scene. Thorne is undercover with this freaky dangerous gang that has kind of taken over the heroine, Nadia’s (N’s) house and she and Thorne have this whole secret past, even though Nadia is so done with him. So here, he’s warning the gangmates not to mess with her. He’s wanting to protect her, and the gang leader wonders if N is Thorne’s secret squeeze and Thorne gets in his face, I’ll do what I want with her. And snarky Nadia makes this quip about wanting to date all of them.
After a while Mr. Crane and I were just laughing about it. What must people have thought? Especially people right in this building, if they saw them.
Also, I know that some super sexy ones went out there and didn’t get found by Mr. Crane. Some that were full of passionately dirty ideas about knee-high pantyhose, scrawled insanely. Gah. You’re welcome, neighborhood.
Confession time: Do you read torn letters in the street?
A random winner gets a special prize package: A choice of any ebook from my backlist and I will send you my favorite fancy made-in-Minnesota candy bar! Open International through February 5.