Earlier today I reviewed Carolyn Crane’s latest, Off the Edge (I loved it). Today, Carolyn is stopping by Smexy with a very amusing story….
My day as the neighborhood psycho!
Do you read the torn scraps of paper that you find laying on the sidewalk or street? I always do, especially if I see handwriting on them. I’m nosy that way. Maybe that’s bad, I don’t know!
So anyway, a few weeks back – this was before it got all snowy here – Mr. Crane comes in the door looking alarmed, clutching a bunch of familiar-looking papers. He says, “Carolyn! Your running notes are all over on the sidewalk. They’re blowing all over the neighborhood!”
And I’m like, “What?” And then, “OMFG.”
I took pics of a few of them, below These are just a few of many, many dozens of notes connected with my novel that I had put in recycling the day before. Awesome Mr. Crane had collected as many as he could, but it was pretty windy.
My handwriting really isn’t that shitty – these are the pieces of paper I take out running so that I can jot things down while on the move. Because I get a lot of ideas running, and I was sick of forgetting them. Usually when I’m writing these, I’ve slowed to a fast walk.
Somebody or something must have dug through the recycling, scattering the stuff. This is a somewhat populated area with houses, restaurants, and condos, and a lot of people walk around on this street.
And these notes, when you read them out of context, are TOTALLY PSYCHO!
I was trying to think, what would I think if I found a note like this? Like with the crazy scrawl handwriting?
Partial transcription: I don’t hate them—I love them too much. I’ll go to the edge with you. I don’t care. With you it’s worth it. I didn’t want to go to the edge b4. I didn’t want to feel things anymore. But it’s okay if I’m with you. Need to fuck on floor. I don’t want to leave you.
This is from when I was writing Off the Edge, a sort of idea I had for my secret agent’s attitude toward the heroine. I totally don’t remember what or who the “them” was. As you see, I was cleverly working in the title!
I don’t know about you, but I might be slightly alarmed finding this on the sidewalk in front of my building. I feel a little bit bad about these blowing around.
Partial transcription: He kills a man long hates. Kiss me. Yanks her down by hair. Man calls from stairs. I’m done killing for you dammit. A lie. A lot of people everywhere are going to die.
I actually have no idea how this related to Off the Edge—most times, these notes refer to the scenes I worked on that day, and they only make sense in the flow, that’s why they’re so cryptic. Every sentence might refer to a different area of that day’s work, or be an idea for the next day.
Well, this is definitely the most freaking psychotic one that was out there. It’s creepy things imagined by my villain.
A partial transcription: If she doesn’t yield to me, I will knock her teeth out with hammer. Trick I learned in prison. If only she would yield to me but too much to hope. Angry opened legs for another man. Anders in disguise. Anders waits in lobby. Only time he hit her when he had to. Emmaline needs equal and opposite force. He is chained up in cage in basement. Sex in cage. You want to fuck me b/c you don’t see me, don’t see me as a monster.
I’m really glad Mr. Crane found this one because, it really could alarm somebody! I think this might have the been the worst one. I hope….
I remember this run when I was writing this creepy villain one, because I hadn’t been getting into his head at all, and then I got this flash of insight that he loved the heroine in a twisted way, and desperately wanted her to return that love, and was easily hurt, and when hurt, would turn dark.
The sex in cage part is about my secret agent. He’s held captive, shirtless and sweaty in a cell in the basement of this Bangkok hotel, and the heroine goes down and visits him and they almost have sex.
More deranged screeds from the neighborhood psycho. Hai! Mr. Crane works two blocks away and I think he must have been collecting these notes all the way home.
partial transcription:
I’d think twice b/4 fucking with her. She’s your squeeze. She’s my whatever I want. I’m running the show last I checked. Yours to fuck or yours to kill? N – this is awesome. I want to date all of you guys.
Anyway, this is from the book I’m now writing, about Thorne. Doesn’t this bit make you want to read it? LOL. Actually, I really like this scene. Thorne is undercover with this freaky dangerous gang that has kind of taken over the heroine, Nadia’s (N’s) house and she and Thorne have this whole secret past, even though Nadia is so done with him. So here, he’s warning the gangmates not to mess with her. He’s wanting to protect her, and the gang leader wonders if N is Thorne’s secret squeeze and Thorne gets in his face, I’ll do what I want with her. And snarky Nadia makes this quip about wanting to date all of them.
After a while Mr. Crane and I were just laughing about it. What must people have thought? Especially people right in this building, if they saw them.
Also, I know that some super sexy ones went out there and didn’t get found by Mr. Crane. Some that were full of passionately dirty ideas about knee-high pantyhose, scrawled insanely. Gah. You’re welcome, neighborhood.
So far, no visits from the police. Next time, maybe I’ll put running notes like this out at the last minute, right before the recycling truck comes.
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Giveaway!!
Confession time: Do you read torn letters in the street?
A random winner gets a special prize package: A choice of any ebook from my backlist and I will send you my favorite fancy made-in-Minnesota candy bar! Open International through February 5.
OMG…I’m crying here. Loved Off The Edge and look forward to reading more about those sexy Associates.
Tori, thanks!! :)
LOL! Your neighborhood is lucky to have you! And of course I do! I’m a super curious person so no way could I pass up an opportunity like that :) Thorne’s book sounds awesome and I can’t wait to read it!
Thanks, Annika! :)
I don’t think I’ve ever found a random note on the sidewalk. I do enjoy the posts on the internet about found grocery lists, though.
Thanks for stopping by Susan. Maybe you’ll start finding them, now!
You’ll know which neighbors picked up the sexy notes. They’ll blush and avoid eye contact with you for the next 5 years.
:^)
snort. Right! Or run away.
I need to read more Crane!
Hehe, well I did stop for a tiny note just yesterday, sadly only a grocery list
Hah! love that you did that. Who can resist?
I’m a big fan! I should look for those notes but you might think I was a stalker if I showed up in your neighborhood. I wouldn’t worry; it’s WAY too cold for anyone to look for, pick up or stand around reading paper this month!
Hey, thanks Anne! :) Yes, a bit cold for that.
If I saw my name (or what I thought was my name) on it I would pick it up. Thanks for the giveaway!
that would be spooky to find!
No, I don’t
;)
I have never been lucky enough to find ANYTHING worth looking at on the street!
Someday, Mary Ann, maybe you will find something amazing.
I think I would be complete creeped out if I stumbled on any of those. I might even turn them (it) into the police! True story, I filed a police report in 1996 when I got a Nigerian spam/scam email. They came to my house and everything. I thought they should know! RICO laws! etc!
That is SO funny!! You are a model citizen, Nicola!
Er, “they” meaning the police. Not the Nigerians.
Carolyn, you write in top secret code? ;)
lol. I can’t let anybody steal my amazing stuff!
I don’t know what I would do if I found the one from the villain. I don’t think I have ever found a note in our neighborhood, just junk mail occasionally on a windy day.
I’m glad I got that one villain one back! Thanks for stopping by, Maureen!
I have never done it, but from now on I’ll start doing it.
I hope you find something sassy!!
I’d die if anyone got hold of my writing notes. Shred ’em or burn ’em, or do what I do and hoard ’em. After I die, people may end up going through my stuff and wonder just how insane I was, but at that point, I won’t care. ;o)
And yeah, I read papers I find on the street. If I found yours, though, I’d probably just wonder who the other writer was in the neighborhood.
Hah! I love it.Yes, the third person in some of them does give that idea.
Loved your article. I would read torn letters I found in the street. You never know what you may find. ;-)
Right? I think they are so interesting. There is something so personal about it. Especially now, in the era of computers.
I’ve never found any sort of writing in my street. But I definitely would if I found some ;)
I’m surprised how many people don’t find stuff like that. But, this is more of a dense neighborhood.
Lol thanks for this Carolyn! I don’t think I have ever found something like that. I am not sure I would pick it up, as I learned as a child not to pick up trash / dirty things …