Sheena:
Ashes (The Divided Kingdom #1) by Sophie Morgan
The blurb suggested a cool, new fantasy/paranormal romance. Instead, “Ashes” was a cacophony of unorganized frenetic words being blasted at me. Hello! This is the inaugural book in the series. World build dammit! Don’t act as if this is book 7 of the series – who ARE these characters?? I had the beginnings of a headache by 9% and a full grown migraine 15% into the novel. To add to the frenzy, there was a crazed bi-polar plot pace. Info dumping followed by severe information deprivation. No moments where I saw why anyone was loyal to one side vs the other, no nuance or subtleties that are important for plot progression. Heroine is a phoenix supernatural who has immense powers and recharges by firelight. She is perpetually fighting in battle and comes face to face with an old love interest from back when she was a young girl. I was barely able to glean this information from the non plot-plot and off-putting dialogue.
Imagine trying to listen to someone tell you a story and they are just shouting nonsensical phrases and random facts at you without allowing you a word in or taking heed of your bewildered countenance. What the hell is going on! I legit shouted that before giving up and distractedly clicking through the book willing something to make sense. I stumbled upon some hot sex but without context it barely registered. I wanted to hurl an outline and brake pads at the author and demand they both be put to good use. Classic example of jamming too many complex and creative ideas into a novel and being too light in the hand with editing. This story needed to be pared waaaay down and as a result, it made my DNF list- decidedly.
Duke’s Bedeviled Bride (Royal Pains #2) by Nina Mason
This novel did not work for me on any level. Like, not one. Which is bizarre because the author has a nice voice hidden in there somewhere, but by 48% the story was just utterly ridiculous. A very imperfect storm…I implore you, absolutely do not even attempt to read as a stand alone. The Duke’s Bedeviled Bride is number two in the series and I have an idea why the bride is so damned miffed at her mate and in her shoes, I suspect I would be too. Her newlywed bridegroom has a very loose interpretation of what fidelity means- however, I almost didn’t care as the heroine was so crazed with her desire to torment him that her ridiculous actions began to trump his misdeeds in book #1.
I was weirded out too many times to justify pushing through to the end. I was turned off by the maybe 10th spanking and not invested enough to care that the groom was a little turned on by them. By the time the bride strapped on a dildo did things to her husband as a way to inflict her own variety of vengeance and pain, I was really done and as a formality, stuck around for a few more chapters, because, really…W.T.F???? Then I tapped out. I had zero interest in seeing what other kink punishments would follow nor did I care if she had a revelation and got over herself already. Even though the bride was cheated on at court and her husband was dense enough to think oral transactions are not considered being faithless, and EVEN though I am all for a wife taking a thick skulled husband to task- I am not into shrews and I did not like this heroine at all. Hard to root for an HEA when the heroine makes you want to chew glass. Seriously, thinking of ways to torment your husband and hiding it under a thin veil of BDSM is not fooling me. I declined to witness their road to HEA.
Make no mistake- I love BDSM and erotic fiction (purrs) and I have a special obsession with historical romance- you would *think* this would be an interesting genre mesh…but no…just no.
Tori:
Sweet Ache by K Bromberg.
The 6th book in her Driven series though it can be read as stand alone. Reading the blurb, I was already for a sexy bad boy rocker with a hidden heart of gold and a snarky feisty heroine whose brother was the hero of the first three books. Lies, deception, and family loyal seemed to be the base this romance is based upon. Instead I found the same issues here I had with Slow Burn. First off, I want to say I REALLY enjoyed the first 3 books. Colton and Rylee were like oil and water and I enjoyed the heat and sparks that ignited between them. Once I hit book four of this series I found the same formula being used but the protagonists weren’t giving me the same feelz. Emo to the 10th degree with ridiculous plot devices, melodramatic scenes, and a slew of secondary characters whose only purpose seemed to be to cause conflict. It got to be monotonous and I couldn’t avoid the feeling I had been down this path many many times. Once I started skimming, I knew it was time to put this one aside.
Mandi:
The Orphan Pearl by Erin Satie
Last year I read and looooooved The Lover’s Knot by Erin Satie. It was smart, sexy and such an engaging read. So I eagerly picked up her next one, The Orphan Pearl. I DNF’d at 35% for two reasons – first, the mystery/suspense part of the plot was confusing to me. There are a lot of secrets and players and the way they are slowly unraveled to the reader left me scratching my head. I like a good twist or a surprise but I started to feel like no matter how the story played out, I didn’t care – I had just lost too much interest. I also found the romance to be lacking and there wasn’t a ton of build-up that would eventually lead to a romance. So I didn’t care for this one. But if you are a fan of historicals, I highly recommend The Lover’s Knot. I’ll try her next one.
Sheena, your observation, “I wanted to hurl an outline and brake pads at the author and demand they both be put to good use”, made me laugh. Fantastic line and to all the ladies great DNF reviews. Thank you.
I always enjoy your DNF reviews. Thanks.
And… I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention that the font in the first part of Sheena’s first review is different than the rest. I’m sorry. I look at words all.day.long. I notice things like this almost immediately. I wish I didn’t.
Thank you! I didn’t notice that.
Now I can’t get the paragraphs to space out – but I think the font is the same
*bangs head*
Was going to get Sweet Ache….but once I read the words….I started skimming…I knew there is no sense in me buying this :)
Thanks Ladies!